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Back Where I Left Her Save as PDF
Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  47. Booklist

Lauren had glanced at Amelia, who didn’t seem to notice or care about her mother’s disappointment. She hadn’t known what to expect before coming here, only gathered what she’d researched herself online, perusing social media accounts. And what Amelia had told her in their conversations. From those things she’d surmised that Amelia and Whitney were close. It had been just the two of them for so long, it made sense. But she hadn’t anticipated how much it would affect her, seeing this life her sister had lived. How different it was from hers.

How much better.

She liked Amelia, but at that moment she felt a little jealous.

Now as she listened to Whitney’s story, she couldn’t help but wish she’d been the baby that was switched. It confused her. This longing.

Before coming here, she’d been much more jaded. The world had seemed so black-and-white. Her relationship with Amelia had changed her. Now she saw so many shades of gray.

She’d wanted Whitney to pay for what she’d done. Even gone as far as planting clues to what she knew all over Whitney’s apartment for her to find once the girls were long gone. She wanted there to be no question why Amelia had left. Lauren wanted to be sure Whitney would suffer. Be tormented. Possibly even drive her so mad she’d turn herself in, finally tell the world the truth about what she’d done.

But as she listened to Whitney’s story, she began to wonder if she’d had it all wrong.

39

THE MONTHS AFTER I brought you home were hard. Not because I didn’t love you. I did. So much. But I underestimated how much I would miss the baby I lost. How much I would grieve her. It was foolish to think one human can replace another.

Please don’t misunderstand. I don’t regret what I did. And the sadness I felt over losing her didn’t diminish the love I had for you.

But switching the two of you didn’t allow me the time I needed to mourn.

Dan assumed I was suffering from post-partum depression. But then he consulted with his dad and he started to think it was more than that. Apparently, my depression didn’t fall in line with post-partum. It seemed more extreme than that to him.

I couldn’t tell Dan what was really going on, so he drew his own conclusions.

Shortly after I brought you home, I heard the news that Millie had died the day after we swapped the babies. Codeine overdose. Same way I’d almost died so many years ago. The information came from my parents of all people. They’d heard it through the rumor mill, spreading from Millie’s mom and weaving its way out like a spiderweb.