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Back Where I Left Her Save as PDF
Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  47. Booklist

The baby started crying, writhing around, stretching her neck from one side to the other. When the baby’s neck turned all the way to the left, Lauren saw it. A birthmark, identical to the one she had on her own neck.

It made her feel special. All fuzzy inside. Almost like she and her sister already had their own little secret. Just between them.

She didn’t say anything then.

But on the day of her sister’s funeral, she wished she had, because when she peeked into the tiny casket, that baby’s neck was white, pale, clean, no markings of any kind.

Turning her head now, Lauren took in Amelia’s profile in the moonlight. A breeze kicked up, the hair brushing away from Amelia’s neck, revealing the tan edge of a pear-shaped birthmark.

33

YEARS PASSED, BUT I never forgot about Millie. I stopped drinking and smoking pot. I graduated from high school, then Dan and I went away to college together. My parents were so proud of me in those days. It scared me sometimes. I’d always wanted them to see me. To notice me, the way I felt they did Kevin. But I’d mistaken pity for love. Kevin needed my parents and they were there for him, giving and giving. I thought I wanted that, too, until I had it. Their pity. Their sympathy. Their stolen worried glances.

I wasn’t fragile.

I wasn’t broken.

I was strong and accomplished, and not because I’d overcome so much, but because I just was. They never saw it. Not then, and not now.

To them, I’m always one bad event away from falling apart.

There were times when I was exhausted with trying to play the part. Be the person Dan and my parents thought I was.

But there wasn’t an alternative. I’d lived a lie for so long, I didn’t know how to live the truth.

One time, when Dan and I were visiting home from college, we ran into Millie at the grocery store. She had a toddler in her shopping cart. It was odd to see her grown-up, food shopping with a kid. I knew she was still with Mitch before she even said anything. It was clear by how gaunt she was, how skittish she seemed. Her eyes kept darting around like Mitch would show up and find out she was talking to us. There was also a slight discoloration on her cheek as if a bruise was fading.

I pulled her aside, asked if I could take her out for coffee or lunch. She hesitated momentarily, but then agreed to meet me at a coffee shop the next morning while her daughter was in preschool.