“I hoped, I prayed, it was your dad’s. I had nightmares all that year that the baby would come out Rand’s twin. I thought about aborting it, but I wanted her. I just…I wanted her. Lucky for me, she came out Lily. Just herself. But I knew immediately. She’s mostly me, of course. But Rand’s eyes. His smile.”

“Rand knew too.” It wasn’t a question.

“Rand knew too.”

“And he just gave her to Dad? Like that?”

“It wasn’t as easy as that, JoJo. Look, Rand’s a good person. He knew I loved your dad and what a good dad your father is. And Rand has a lot of strengths, but maybe fatherhood isn’t his top. He didn’t want to start again. And what were we going to do? Break up our families and raise Lily in some dysfunctional mash-up? You weren’t even out of high school yet. I didn’t want to do that to you.”

“Oh, thank you so much for that consideration.”

Her mother’s hand went to her throat, her face stricken. “Please don’t tell your father. Please, JoJo. It would break him. It would tear up Lily’s life. Please, JoJo. I know it’s not a fair request. I know what I’ve done is unforgivable. But after Grandfather died and we left Corfu, I never saw Rand again. We put a stop to it fifteen years ago.”

“Because that was Leo’s condition! Because Leo forced your hand.”

“Well, either way, we listened. We tried to do the right thing.”

“For Lily,” said Joey very softly. “Listen, Mom, I’ll let you know what Leo and I decide to do about all this. But I’ll tell you one thing. Whatever we decide, I just…I don’t know if I can ever forgive you. And at my wedding…” A fresh pain sucker-punched Joey. Her wedding. It felt inconceivable to fast-forward a week or so, to imagine being happy and carefree.

“At my wedding, I’m sure I’ll hug you and enjoy with you and you’ll think this is over. But this isn’t over. This can never be over. You made it that way. We can’t come back from this, Mom.”

Joey stood, thinking how that was the most unfair part of all—that life didn’t give rewinds, even when you really deserved one.

Chapter Eighteen

Joey

Florida
2019

Another call. Was there no end?

Eighteen-year-old Lily had been stalking Joey, intensifying her calls in the last hour. She was in the don’t-let-up camp of communication, her persistence likely why she now stood on first-name footing with Anna Wintour.

A heavy dread shuddered through Joey. She silenced her little sister and propped herself up on her pillow, now covered in dried tear splotches.