Back When We Were Young
Chapters (58)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Joey
  6. Joey
  7. Joey
  8. Sarah
  9. Sarah
  10. Joey
  11. Joey
  12. Joey
  13. Joey
  14. Sarah
  15. Joey
  16. Joey
  17. Sarah
  18. Joey
  19. Joey
  20. Joey
  21. Joey
  22. Joey
  23. Sarah
  24. Joey
  25. Joey
  26. Joey
  27. Joey
  28. Joey
  29. Joey
  30. Joey
  31. Sarah
  32. Sarah
  33. Joey
  34. Joey
  35. Joey
  36. Joey
  37. Sarah
  38. Sarah
  39. Joey
  40. Joey
  41. Joey
  42. Sarah
  43. Joey
  44. Joey
  45. Chapter Forty-One
  46. Joey
  47. Sarah
  48. Joey
  49. Joey
  50. Joey
  51. Joey
  52. Reading Group Guide
  53. Letter to Readers
  54. Discussion Questions
  55. Historical Note
  56. Acknowledgments
  57. Discover More
  58. About the Author

“Before Lily was born.” Her father’s voice was barely audible.

Joey’s eyes suddenly caught on the vase of sunflowers on the table. It smacked her: the night she was eleven.

“I heard voices,” she said, and everyone looked at her.

“Babe.” Grant patted her shoulder like she was a delicate mental patient. “Babe.”

She shoved him off. “No, stop. Listen. I really heard voices. When I was eleven. I’d had a nightmare and went to the terrace. I don’t remember what I saw. I just remember being back in bed. You tucked me back in, Dad. You said to imagine a field of sunflowers. You said I didn’t see anything.”

“Scott!” Bea’s eyes widened.

“Don’t Scott me!” he shouted, and instinctively, Joey covered her eyes.

“It wasn’t you,” Joey said, it all dawning. “I remembered it the last summer we were on Corfu, that time when I was eleven. I think I briefly wondered if you and Maisy were having an affair. But I guess I forgot about it.”

“Me and Maisy?” Scott shook his head. “Oh, honey.”

“But it wasn’t you and Maisy.”

“I don’t understand,” said Bea.

“I don’t understand!” said Lily.

“The voices I must have heard on the terrace were Mom and Rand. Seriously, Mom? In plain view?”

“We never did anything on the terrace,” said Bea. “Give me a little credit, Joey.”

“You deserve no credit. Zero credit. Ahhhhhhhhh.” Lily let out a banshee scream. Then she gave the didgeridoo a long blast. Eventually Lily removed her mouth from the lip and propped it against the table.

“They were just talking,” said Scott. He’d now torn up a sizable patch of lawn. “But they thought we were asleep, me and Maisy. So the talking wasn’t normal talking. It was lovers talking—”

“Scott, that was nine years before our last summer. I don’t—”

“It was lovers talking, Bea, and I didn’t want Joey to catch on. She was such a perceptive kid. I walked you back, JoJo, and there were sunflowers on the kitchen table, so I guess I blabbered something about them—”

“I’ve hated sunflowers ever since,” said Joey. “I don’t get it, Dad.”

“I don’t either, Dad,” said Lily. Then her face changed. She tore off her headdress. “He’s not even my dad. Fuck, he’s not even my dad.”

“I am your dad. Please, Lily. I am your dad.”

“When did you know?” asked Bea.

Scott exhaled deeply through his mouth. It was a long exhale, like blowing out birthday candles. Like huffing and puffing to blow the whole house down.

“I knew before we were married,” he whispered. “I knew about Harry Berry.”

Bea looked at Scott like she’d never seen him before. “But I never talked about Rand. Not to you or anyone. And definitely not about Harry Berry.”