“What Freddie would’ve wanted is for both of you to walk out of here. He didn’t want to die, but if he’d had to choose, I’m pretty sure he would have chosen for him to die rather than you.”

“I would have chosen me.”

“I know. But that’s why you have to come with me, Jess. I can’t make it better, no one can. This is who you are now. And that’s all I’ve got, no words of comfort—I just want you to come back.”

She was motionless, seconds creeping past, and then finally she moved toward him. He was about to step back to let her onto the path, but she kept coming and put her arms around him, holding on to him, and was so quiet that it took a moment for him to realize that she was crying.

He should have felt better, he supposed, because he had persuaded her to live, for now, or allowed her to persuade herself, but he felt unaccountably low instead. Perhaps it was only because it had brought his own grief to the surface, and at some level, he’d never thought himself worthy of it—how could he be, and how could it be real grief, when most of the time he hardly remembered them at all?

CHAPTER 24

They walked back along the path in silence, and when they reached the plane she followed him back to the fire.

As he rounded the corner, Alice looked up. “There you are. We thought you felt sick or…” She stopped as she saw Jess. “Oh, hi, Jess.”

“Hello.” Tom sat down but Jess remained standing for a moment and said, “I got lost. Tom found me.” She looked down at the fire. “Do you mind if I stay here for a while? I don’t want to go inside.”

“Of course not,” said Alice. Jess sat across from them, on one of the piles of luggage. Tom had noticed out in the jungle how small she was—something he’d never seen before because Freddie had been exactly the same height as her—but sitting there now, she looked tiny. “Would you like something to eat and drink?”

She shook her head. “I might just lie down for a while if that’s okay.” She didn’t wait for an answer, but curled up on the luggage.

Alice and George both looked at Tom, their expressions clear, wanting the full story. He smiled in response and shrugged, and then Alice mimicked his shrug, which made him laugh. When he looked again, Jess was already asleep, no doubt dragged down into the depths by the exhaustion of the day.

He turned back to the others then and said quietly, “She went out into the jungle. I think she had some idea the jaguar might take her.”

“Oh God.” Alice looked curious. “How did you know?”