BooksBarbecue
Back When the Stars Go Dark
Chapters (83)
  1. Epigraph
  2. Maps
  3. (prologue)
  4. Part 1: Signs and Vapors
  5. (one)
  6. (two)
  7. (three)
  8. (four)
  9. (five)
  10. (six)
  11. (seven)
  12. (eight)
  13. (nine)
  14. (ten)
  15. (eleven)
  16. (twelve)
  17. Part 2: Secret Things
  18. (thirteen)
  19. (fourteen)
  20. (fifteen)
  21. (sixteen)
  22. (seventeen)
  23. (eighteen)
  24. (nineteen)
  25. (twenty)
  26. (twenty-one)
  27. (twenty-two)
  28. (twenty-three)
  29. (twenty-four)
  30. (twenty-five)
  31. (twenty-six)
  32. (twenty-seven)
  33. (twenty-eight)
  34. (twenty-nine)
  35. (thirty)
  36. (thirty-one)
  37. (thirty-two)
  38. (thirty-three)
  39. (thirty-four)
  40. (thirty-five)
  41. (thirty-six)
  42. (thirty-seven)
  43. (thirty-eight)
  44. (thirty-nine)
  45. Part 3: Time and the Maiden
  46. (forty)
  47. (forty-one)
  48. (forty-two)
  49. (forty-three)
  50. (forty-four)
  51. (forty-five)
  52. (forty-six)
  53. (forty-seven)
  54. (forty-eight)
  55. (forty-nine)
  56. (fifty)
  57. (fifty-one)
  58. (fifty-two)
  59. (fifty-three)
  60. Part 4: The Bent Grove
  61. (fifty-four)
  62. (fifty-five)
  63. (fifty-six)
  64. (fifty-seven)
  65. (fifty-eight)
  66. (fifty-nine)
  67. (sixty)
  68. (sixty-one)
  69. (sixty-two)
  70. (sixty-three)
  71. (sixty-four)
  72. (sixty-five)
  73. (sixty-six)
  74. (sixty-seven)
  75. (sixty-eight)
  76. (sixty-nine)
  77. (seventy)
  78. Dedication
  79. (acknowledgments)
  80. (author’s note)
  81. BY PAULA MCLAIN
  82. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  83. What’s next onyour reading list?

He’s given me more information. Another small piece of the whole. I work to steady my breathing, to unclench the tension in my hands. “I want to, Caleb. Tell me why Cameron is so special. She is, isn’t she? I love her, too.”

Suddenly Caleb’s face reddens. His throat above the collar of his shirt looks strangely corded, as if he’s barely holding himself in check.

“You’ve been doing this a long time,” I say, “but Cameron is different for you. You kept her for three weeks, but you didn’t kill her. I don’t think you felt good about hurting her at all.”

Glancing over, I see his eyes narrow, as if I’ve hit a nerve, but he says nothing. I light the wooden match in my hand and a kick of sulfur burns my nose and eyes. Still, I’m grateful for the action and moments of camouflage. The last thing I want is for him to see me trembling. I can’t be a victim in his mind. A deer in headlights. I’m his friend. He has to believe that I accept him. That I know he can’t control himself.

“I’m just trying to put myself in your place, Caleb. Did you think you could keep Cameron because she reminded you the most of Jenny?”

“Don’t talk about her,” he snaps, bouncing forward a little on the balls of his feet. He’s wearing large black sneakers and seems surprisingly light in them, considering his size. He has to weigh close to two hundred pounds, but moves like a smaller man, not with grace exactly but efficiency. Maybe the military had taught him that.

“I miss Jenny, Caleb. I’ll bet you do, too.”

Without moving, something seems to seize in him. “You didn’t know her.”

In front of me, the fire has taken hold, licking past the kindling onto the lengths of pine I’ve placed in a loose tripod shape. The smell of flame touching wood is one of the most familiar and soothing scents I know, deeply knitted into my memories of Hap and home. Of comfort. But all I can think now is how long Caleb will let me live. If these are the last few moments of my life.

However he’s found me here, following me from town, tracking my movements for days, maybe, or even weeks, he obviously wants retribution now. I’ve stolen something from him. Something precious and irreplaceable.

I sit back on my heels to meet Caleb’s gaze. “I wanted to know Jenny better. I always thought there was something so sad about your sister. I wish now she would have talked to me more. I wanted to help.”