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Back When I Was Ten Save as PDF
Chapters (79)
  1. Cover
  2. WHEN I WAS TEN
  3. Dedication page
  4. Epigraph page
  5. PROLOGUE
  6. PART ONE
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. PART TWO
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. PART THREE
  53. 45
  54. 46
  55. 47
  56. 48
  57. 49
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. 52
  61. 53
  62. 54
  63. 55
  64. 56
  65. 57
  66. 58
  67. 59
  68. 60
  69. 61
  70. 62
  71. 63
  72. 64
  73. 65
  74. 66
  75. 67
  76. 68
  77. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  78. WHEN I WAS TEN
  79. Also by Fiona Cummins

The cafe is emptying, the pack spreading out in search of stories. We pay for our breakfast and head into the cold.

‘We need to find her,’ says Lawrie. He doesn’t say her name, but I know who he means. Sara Carter. ‘You need to find her.’

But nobody knows where she is.

Where are you? How are you? It feels too long since I’ve heard from you. I’m worried. Please let me know that you’re OK.

51

Room 22 was suffocating.

Because of the snow outside, the hotel had cranked up the heat, but Catherine could barely breathe. She took off her jumper and sat on the small hard-backed chair in front of the mirror, fanning her face with a room service menu. The place was soulless. A pad of paper and a Gideon bible in the drawer. A cheap hairdryer. Identikit artwork on the walls.

Edward lay on the double bed, his eyes closed, pretending to sleep. Honor was sprawled on the single bed under the window, scrolling through her mobile phone.

‘I should be having double PE right now,’ she said suddenly, not quite able to conceal her glee.

‘You need to come off your phone,’ said Catherine. ‘Eliza said not to use it.’

She didn’t elaborate, frightened of rupturing a peace that was becoming more and more fragile, but Eliza had explained in a low, serious voice how many people in Identity Protection were traced because of their children.

‘It’s so difficult for them,’ she’d said in the hotel car park, a couple of minutes before she’d driven off. ‘They don’t understand why they have to stop using Instagram or Snapchat, posting pictures, that sort of thing, and the temptation is huge.

‘We give them back-stories, like “Dad has been relocated because of work”, but the problem is, a couple of weeks later, when the child has made a new best friend, they tell them everything.’

Catherine understood. But would her daughter?

Honor’s phone pinged with a notification, and she read it, her cheeks pinking, a secret smile on her face. ‘So what shall I tell my friends when I go back to Sweetwood?’

Catherine’s mouth was dry. She ran her fingers across the surface of the cheap hotel drawers. The wood was sticky where it hadn’t been wiped properly.

‘You won’t be going back to Sweetwood, love.’

Honor sat up, her mouth a circle of shock. ‘What do you mean? Of course I’ll be going back. I have to go to school, you know.’ Disdainful now. ‘It’s the law.’

‘We’ll find you a new school.’

‘I don’t want to go to a new school.’

‘If we go back home, the press will hound us. All of us. We’ll never get a moment’s peace.’

Honor’s eyes were flashing in anger, her voice getting louder. ‘But that’s not my fault, is it? None of this is my fault.’