There’s something about babies that makes me melt. Maybe it was because I grew up with a sister who was eleven years younger than me. I have fond memories of Ellie, and the fondest were definitely when she was young enough to not completely hate me.

Our relationship has been fractured ever since I left Maine, and the more I try to sew it back together, the more it just rips at the seams.

It’s been months the last time my own sister even spoke to me, and her words were, you chose your famous family. Go be with them.

She won’t let me have a relationship with her without severing ties with Loren, and it’s unfair. I never felt like moving to Philadelphia was choosing Loren, my famous brother, over my little sister. I would have been gone in a year for college anyway. Moving to Philly, for me, was always about choosing to discover a part of my world that my mom kept secret from me.

Ellie never understood that. She still doesn’t. And even though Loren is related to her too—he’s her half-brother—I think there’s too much resentment there for it to matter to her. I know I’ll keep trying to rebuild what I broke, but I’m not sure if there’s even a foundation left.

My dad doesn’t speak to me. My mom will answer my texts weeks later, and my phone calls are always cut short on her end. I always think about the day I left Maine and the what ifs. What if I stayed? I would have never met Lo. Never would have had a relationship with my brother. But I would have kept one with my mom and little sister.

It’s a horrible trade-off. One I can’t dwell on because I’ve already chosen a path. This isn’t like a comic book. I can’t turn back time and see what the other universe has in store for me.

I stop thinking about Ellie and my mom just to focus on Daisy’s baby again. My lips lift, joy replacing hurt because little Sulli is nothing short of a miracle.

My best friend went through hurdles and roadblocks and mountains just to have her baby girl, and so seeing Sulli is like a dream come to life.

“How is she doing?” I ask.

“Amazing,” Daisy says, eyes lighting up. “She’s a certified mermaid. It’s officially official, she loves the water. I’ve never seen anything like it. She gets so excited when we take her to swim lessons. The trouble is pulling her away from the pool.” Daisy crinkles her nose at the thought. “It’s like destroying her favorite teddy bear.”

I smile, loving these stories. Daisy and I are close in age. I’m twenty. She’s just twenty-two, but we’re on different trajectories. I’m starting college, and she’s starting a family. Still, we make an effort to stay close and catch up. This is a friendship I don’t want to lose, no matter how far away I am.