“I’m sorry.” Gretchen bit at Jax’s lower lip and reached down to toy with her entrance. “Forgive me?” She dipped into Jax just enough to ignite her sensitive entrance, but not fully. Just the way Jax liked it. Gretchen spread her wetness up and started to rub her clit.

“Yesss…” she hissed. Her arms went weak and she fell atop Gretchen. She buried her face into the crook of Gretchen’s neck and breathed heavily. She sank her teeth into the damp skin of Gretchen’s shoulder. “I’m already so close. How do you do that?”

“It helps that I love your body.”

She lost herself to the feel of Gretchen’s hands, one working the most sensitive skin between her legs and the other caressing as much as it could reach. She wanted this moment to last forever, for it to wash away every painful memory. That was exactly how Gretchen’s touch felt—like a baptism, cleaning them of their sins.

“Make me come,” she said between clenched teeth. Her command was met with the quickening of Gretchen’s fingers. She came quietly, riding out the pleasurable waves against Gretchen’s hand. Her whole body went slack. It took her a while to come back to her senses, and she realized how she must’ve been crushing Gretchen. “Am I hurting you?”

Gretchen wrapped her arms around her body. “Don’t move. This feels nice. I want to keep you here forever.”

“You have me forever.” She kissed the tip of Gretchen’s nose. “You always have.” She kissed her eyelids. “I love you,” she said, kissing her cheeks next. “I love you, I love you.” She finally kissed Gretchen’s waiting lips. She noticed Gretchen’s tears and panicked. “Are you sure I’m not hurting you?”

“I’m fine. I’m happy.” Gretchen pressed her forehead to hers. “I feel like me again, thanks to you.”

Jax’s happiness was quickly quelled by fear and insecurity. She rolled off to the side of Gretchen and looked up at the shadows across the ceiling. She saw many shapes and faces, and none of them made her feel better.

“What just happened?” Gretchen said.

She almost lied, not wanting to add to Gretchen’s already mounting stress, but she needed to do things right this time. No more hiding, no more lying, and no more keeping quiet. “I guess I’m the scared one now.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“You remembering.” Jax felt silly once she admitted it. Gretchen stayed silent. “I know it’s selfish, but what if you remember why you didn’t stop me? What if you had a great reason, and once you remember it, you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Gretchen said, taking Jax’s hand once more. “I thought we were focusing on what is, not what if.”