“I’m pretty sure she did, and I think we both know she’s been feeling that way for a while now.”

“She’s not herself. I know you see it, too.”

“That sounded a lot like her,” Jax said angrily. She flexed her jaw over and over while looking into Amanda’s helpless dark eyes. They were in the same boat, and they only had each other to keep it from sinking.

“I’m worried about her. She knew Mom died.”

Jax was legitimately shocked. “What?”

“But she thought it was a heart attack. I had to retell how she only lived a month after her cancer diagnosis. Gretchen didn’t even flinch, and that scared me. I’m hoping going home will help her get through whatever this is, and I think you need to be the one who’s there.”

Amanda must’ve lost her mind. “You heard her. Hell, everyone on this floor heard her. She doesn’t want me there. She doesn’t want me anywhere.”

“But Dr. Melendez—”

“I don’t care what the doctor said—I care what my wife said.” Jax shook her head, hating the reality of her situation. “My ex-wife. You saw how upset she is. That’s exactly what we need to avoid.”

“She needs you and Caleb now more than ever.”

“Caleb? Yes. Me? No.”

“She loves you.”

Jax laughed outright. Several people turned and looked at her in concern. “She stopped loving me a long time ago.”

“You can’t believe that.”

“You have no idea.”

“I don’t, you’re right, but I think the three of you being back under the same roof caring about one another will be good for everyone, especially Gretchen. She woke up remembering that life, and maybe being surrounded by it will help her remember other things, too. I’ll come by when you leave for work or if you need a break. I’ll be there, but I can’t be there all day, every day. That’s your place. It always has been.”

Jax had to think fast. She had a child who’d be impacted by her decision. But she would hurt Meredith by moving back in with Gretchen for an undetermined amount of time. She wiped at her face roughly. Meredith didn’t deserve an ounce of pain, but Jax’s family had to come first.

“Fine, but you’re stepping in if it’s not working. No questions asked and no pressure for me to stay longer.”

Amanda held up her right hand. “I promise I won’t pressure you to stay longer than you feel comfortable, but I can’t promise to not ask questions.”

Jax chuckled in spite of her despair. “Fine.” She turned and stepped back into Gretchen’s room. Weariness caused her to approach slowly. “Gretchen, listen—”

“Don’t,” Gretchen said to the window. “Don’t let Amanda guilt you into this. I made my decision.”