“Yes. So I can stay. With her. And go to school.”

“You can adopt adults?”

“Sean, keep up, yes.”

“And she’d be your, what, legal guardian?”

“No, she would be my legal mother.”

I dug in the dirt with a stick.

“Do you like Francine?” he asked quietly.

More than I could ever admit or express properly.

“Muir,” he said. “I don’t understand why this is bad.”

I rubbed my tired eyes. “Did you depend on your dad?”

His brow furrowed. “Of course.”

“Will you ever be the same with him gone?”

“Oh man…please tell me you’re not trying to live your entire life never depending on anyone ever because they might leave or die.”

“Too late. I already did.”

“Well, that’s not our fault!”

“It’s not mine, either! You think I like feeling every day like I’m walking a fucking tightrope, one misstep and I’m dead? You think it’s been fun feeling like that every day since I was a little kid?”

“Of course not, that’s not what I— I mean, we’re here, we’ll catch you. We’re right here. Also I have severe acrophobia, so this metaphor is making my hands sweaty.”

“How can you be a ranger with acrophobia? That’s stupid.”

“Muir. We’re here. All of us.”

“Yes,” I said. “You’re here now.”

“What about our motto? Life is fucked and you know that better than anyone, but I know it, too, and I’m glad I didn’t not love my dad in case he dropped dead, because when he eventually did, I had years of really great memories. I had my mom, so I survived, and so will you. We are here, not everyone leaves, sometimes things turn out right. Why would it be so bad if Francine adopted you?”

“A million reasons.”

“A million? Really.”

“You don’t get it.”

“I know I don’t get it, I’m begging you to please help me understand.”

“Well, to begin with, this country was built on stealing babies from their mothers. White people did it to indigenous people, and they still try it; slave owners sure as fuck did it; white people still adopt kids from other cultures, name them Tiffany, and pull that gross ‘We don’t see color’ crap. The Catholic Church said poor moms and single moms are ‘immoral’ so they stole their babies and gave them to rich Catholic couples, and then Georgia Tamm…that bitch stole kids and straight-up sold them. People still do it, and it’s just— Adoption isn’t always the happy cure-all people pretend it is.”

Birds sang in the clean, cool air. What a gorgeous morning to feel so crappy.