“And you didn’t tell your family the truth.” Zack refills her wine, which makes a hissing sound in her bulbous glass.

“No. I was embarrassed. Can you believe that? I was embarrassed about him behaving that way.” Suhani stares at the mint- green place mat. “During residency, I read about how some people try to make their partners feel as low as possible so they aren’t abandoned by them.”

“He wanted to bring you down so you’d stay,” Zack says.

“Subconsciously, yes,” Suhani says. A weight collects on her sternum. This is it. This is the last piece of her history she’s tried to forget for years. “I found out I was pregnant several weeks before he and I planned to go away for a short vacation. On the last night of our trip, when I was going to tell him the news, we got into yet another fight because he thought our waiter at dinner was hitting on me. It seemed like one of our usual arguments at first. But things escalated and before I knew it, his hands were around my neck. I suddenly realized I was struggling to breathe, that there was this pain and pressure. It felt like I was watching it from outside myself. He even seemed shocked after he loosened his grip. He kept saying he was sorry but I didn’t listen. I just got in the car and sped back to my apartment. That week, I went to Planned Parenthood and then my dean’s office to take an official leave of absence. I left my work, my patients, a group project I was leading, and curled up in bed for what felt like weeks. I blocked Roshan’s number and ignored all his e-mails. Even after I recovered physically, I knew I’d never be the same. I wasn’t who I thought I was. I wasn’t the perfect example for Natasha or Anuj or the one who would make my parents’ sacrifices worth it.”

Suhani was always a split self. There’s the Suhani everyone sees—accomplished, put together—and there’s the Suhani brewing under the surface: broken, racked with doubt.

“Oh, honey.” Zack gets out of his chair and pulls Suhani out of hers. In a series of fluid movements, he pulls her onto the floor with him. They stay that way for a few seconds, cheek to cheek, limbs intertwined.

Suhani thinks back to a quote by Michelle Obama: “I understand now that even a happy marriage can be a vexation, that it’s a contract best renewed and renewed again, even quietly and privately—even alone.” She wonders if Michelle ever kept any secrets from Barack and how they’d navigate a situation like this. She wonders when they discovered that it’s possible to peel back the layers of a marriage and find new parts of someone to love.