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Chapters (69)
  1. DEDICATION
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  41. 32
  42. 33
  43. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  44. 34
  45. 35
  46. 36
  47. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  48. 37
  49. 38
  50. 39
  51. 40
  52. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  53. 41
  54. 42
  55. 43
  56. 44
  57. 45
  58. 46
  59. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  60. 47
  61. 48
  62. 49
  63. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  64. 50
  65. HOW TO LISTEN TO THE WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE PODCAST
  66. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  67. ABOUT THE AUTHORS
  68. PRAISE FOR WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE
  69. ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

She would need to start somewhere. Old Woman Josie had mentioned that the angels wanted to see her, and even though no one could legally acknowledge their existence, they did tend to know what more legally existent creatures did not. It was, if nothing else, somewhere to start at. She got up to leave, glancing back to the kitchen.

The cook was still staring at her, a burger in midflip. Her quick glance did not take in its landing, and so, in her mind, it was always in the air, tumbling, never landing, never consumed, only spinning and falling, spinning and falling.

6

Catharine’s office had two plants, three chairs, two desks, one hutch, six personal photos in standing frames, one of those clichéd motivational posters on the wall that had two crows tearing out the insides of a reasonably sized forest cat with the cheesy inspirational caption, “Unremittingly, you must stare into the sun,” and a clay paperweight most likely made by Catharine’s daughter (it was signed

by your seed

in adorable small-child handwriting).

Diane sat in one of the chairs that had no wheels. The other two chairs were empty. The computer was humming and glowing. Flashes of colorful dots disappeared and reappeared on the screen. A phone was ringing somewhere in the cubicle area. A phone was being answered in the cubicle area.

A tarantula inched between the keyboard and mouse, as if it were playing the game where it can only move one leg at a time, which is a popular game with tarantulas. Tarantulas are simple creatures, Diane’s house thought, but no one was home to receive that thought. Josh was at school, not thinking about tarantulas. Diane was in the office, trying not to think about Josh.

The door opened and Catharine said, “Sorry about making you wait so long,” but she said it in a way that a person says, “Sorry about the loss of your pet.” Catharine was either expertly empathetic or completely disingenuous. It depended on what you needed a boss to be. In this way Catharine was a good boss.

Catharine sat down in the chair that had wheels and was between the two desks. She shoved papers and their paperweight out from the center of the desk, creating a small, clean triangle of oak desktop between her and Diane.

“How’s Josh?” Catharine asked.

“Josh?” Diane was not expecting small talk. Nor did she expect Catharine to remember her son’s name. She had always gotten along fine with her boss, but they had spoken only once or twice in her entire time with the company. Catharine had always seemed fair and kind, as things go, but also stressed and distracted.

“Josh, right? Your son? How is he? Still taking different physical forms all the time?”

“Oh, he’s fine. Just fine.”