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Chapters (69)
  1. DEDICATION
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  41. 32
  42. 33
  43. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  44. 34
  45. 35
  46. 36
  47. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  48. 37
  49. 38
  50. 39
  51. 40
  52. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  53. 41
  54. 42
  55. 43
  56. 44
  57. 45
  58. 46
  59. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  60. 47
  61. 48
  62. 49
  63. THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE
  64. 50
  65. HOW TO LISTEN TO THE WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE PODCAST
  66. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  67. ABOUT THE AUTHORS
  68. PRAISE FOR WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE
  69. ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

She pointed at him. She meant it.

“Understand this. I will find my son. I will find my son right away.”

Which is when her son walked in with Jackie. He had a squat body and enormous antlers.

“Hi, Mom,” Josh said.

THE VOICE OF NIGHT VALE

CECIL: . . . break into his storage locker? Who would do such a thing? Feral dogs probably. They are notorious thieves.

In other news, a recent report suggests that things may not be as they seem. The report explains that things are definitely what they are, but never what they seem. Many scientists contributed to the report. They studied numbers that were on computer screens and wrote out long equations and drew many diagrams that helped prove their point.

“Even these pages you think you’re reading could be quite different from what you think you see,” the report explained. “It’s possible this report is just a sprawling aloe plant or a mid-century modern maple credenza. You could try to study it more closely, but you will never know for certain.”

No word on whether or not things have been what they have seemed before this report or whether they will be what they seem at some point in the future.

And now, traffic.

There is a man walking out into the desert. He doesn’t have much. At one point he had a new job and a nice car and people in his life. Now he only has his gray pin-striped suit stained with dirt and a five-dollar bill. Soon, he thinks, he will have less. The less he has the more things make sense to him, although he doesn’t understand why.

He thinks back to the men he had been in the past. The man with a lover. The man with a job. The man driving without a destination. The man with a fancy watch in a place where time doesn’t work. The man standing out in the desert with blood all over his hands. The man entering a pawnshop. They all seemed to be different people, people who didn’t know each other although they might vaguely recognize each other from different corners at a party none of them liked.

But he also knew that they were all him, that all of them still lived inside his body, somewhere. That they could never leave, just recede into a background hum in his mind.

The young man is in the desert. He is looking back at a world that does not belong to him. Nothing belongs to him. He is looking around at a landscape that desolates outward forever. So he stops where he is, as good as any other place.