‘They’re more likely to be married players, looking for a bit on the side,’ says Gen.

‘Nice,’ I say in despair.

‘Well, they’re not all. I mean there are some decent men left out there. There must be,’ Gen adds.

I look down at my screen, feeling faintly sick at the thought of my photo being out there, and my face being swiped left (or was it right? God, I better find that out) on a whim.

‘One of the girls at work was telling me that she got a match the other day,’ I tell them. ‘He was a really nice-looking guy, really good job working as an investment banker, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Two messages in, the formalities over with, and he asked her what she was doing. “Just having a coffee and thinking about heading to the shops for a bit of a wander,” she said. “What about you?”’ I grimaced, thinking about poor Jav’s face when she’d been telling us over lunch.

‘And he replied: “Just cracking one off over your photograph”.’

‘Ugh.’ Sophie’s nose wrinkles in disgust. ‘And that was supposed to be a come-on?’

‘A come-over,’ Gen said, also looking a bit queasy. ‘This is why I intend to remain single forever. I’m not putting myself through all that crap.’

‘Uh, thanks, Gen,’ I say.

‘Sorry.’

‘I’m not sure I’m ready for this.’ I pick up the phone. There’s a photograph of a nice-looking man with dark brown hair and green eyes looking back at me. ‘Oh.’

Gen snatches the phone back. ‘Exactly.’ She swipes at the screen.

‘Oh my God, did you swipe him away?’

‘Nope.’ Gen puts the phone back down on the table, looking triumphant. ‘I just took your Tinder virginity.’

‘Ewww,’ I say, feeling slightly sick. The phone buzzes and I pick it up.

‘Oh my God, he’s replied.’ Gen gives a squeak of glee and high-fives Sophie. ‘Get in.’

I look up and catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror. It looks more horrified than excited, but they don’t seem to have noticed that.

Chapter Fifteen: Jess

Chapter Fifteen

Jess

13th April