‘Dad, I’m embarrassed for you whether Michelle is there or not. And thanks, but I think I’ll walk. I fancy the fresh air.’ I want to clear my head and practise my conversation with Michelle . . .

He stood and pushed the pouffe back from where he had taken it.

‘We all have setbacks in life, love. The real test is how we get back up and how we go forward. Just remember, you are not a falling-down kind of girl.’

‘I will,’ she nodded, her spirits lifted and lightened by his words. He was right, this was just a setback – she would write to the airlines and see if they had any openings, and if that came to nothing, then it might just be that she would enrol at the tech.

I am not a falling-down kind of girl . . . I am not . . .

Bessie wasn’t aware she had fallen asleep, but clearly she had, as she was now waking up. Her bedroom door creaked open and Philip poked his head in.

‘Fancy some Cinzano?’

‘What?’ She blinked at him – not only was she still half asleep and a little drowsy, but it was quite possibly one of the most random questions her brother had ever popped up with.

‘For the party tonight?’ He looked over his shoulder to check his parents weren’t within hearing distance. ‘I’ve got a bottle of Cinzano.’ He might have been eighteen, but her parents still thought of him as a four-year-old.

‘Oh.’ She sat up and thought about having to walk into the rugby club to meet Michelle stone-cold sober. Nerves bunched in her gut – maybe a slug of Cinzano might take the edge off. ‘Sure, thanks.’

‘I’ll put it in Mum’s old thermos.’

‘Okay, cheers, Philip.’ She liked this version of her brother, who did nice things for her. ‘How’s Carmen?’ She thought taking an interest in his girlfriend would be kind.

He twisted his mouth and looked into the middle distance. ‘She’s good, I think. I’ll see her later.’ He smiled at the thought.

‘You really like her, don’t you?’

‘Yeah, I do. A bit too much, if anything.’ He laughed nervously.

‘How can you like someone a bit too much?’ It was a curious concept.

Philip took his time forming a response. ‘Because when you like someone more than they like you, it’s almost a cast-iron guarantee that you’re going to get hurt, but the trouble is, because you like them so much and because they hold all the cards, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.’

‘That sounds crap.’ She thought of Lawrence and felt the first flicker of excitement at the thought of seeing him and catching up after the party, where she hoped to take their tally to ten and in the process take her mind off the number three hundred and sixty-one.