‘I hate my life! It’s my birthday and I hate my life!’ she whispered into the ether.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

August 20th 2021

Bess drove home cautiously, with the roll of relief in her stomach and a pulse that raced, shaking her head at what had nearly been her undoing and beyond relieved that nothing had happened. Sitting at the red traffic light, waiting to turn right, she twisted the wedding band on the third finger of her left hand.

She tried to pay attention to the rules of the road while her limbs shook. She kept picturing Mr Maxwell’s feet: bare, hairy toes and a high instep, facts she should not know about her neighbour but now did.

As she pulled into the cul de sac, her heart sank. Helen Maxwell was unloading groceries from the boot of her shiny car, her keys dangling from her mouth as she juggled large, overstuffed paper bags from which poked glossy packets, a glass jar of coffee and most tantalising, the spiky top of a pineapple. Helen Maxwell, whom she now knew judged people by the money they earned, the car they drove and the holidays they took. Again Bess wished she didn’t know this. It was another small puff of wind with which to further blow away the fine dust of her self-confidence. She should be old enough not to care how others judged her, but it was the judgement of others that had damaged her, had provided the thread that, when pulled, saw her whole life unravel. She decided to park on the driveway and pretend to take a phone call or to root in the glove compartment for an elusive item, anything to distract her until Helen had gone inside. She would do whatever was needed to avoid contact with the woman whose husband she had spent the best part of forty regrettable minutes with, listening to how unhappy he was. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling and it reeked of duplicity. She should also not know that he had lost his job, something the judgemental Helen did not, as she unloaded the grocery bags which no doubt hid olives and several varieties of hummus. Bess wiped the nervous lick of sweat from her top lip and took a deep breath. Finally – finally – Helen kicked the front door shut with her foot and it was Bess’s cue to move.