‘It really doesn’t. I’m glad you like your flowers.’

‘Thank you, darling, I do, and I love you, Jake.’

‘Yep, love you too. Dan’s waving goodbye. Still crying, but waving too.’

‘Oh, bless him! And Jake?’

‘Yes, Mum?’ His speech was faster now, trying to get off the phone.

‘I just wanted to ask, do you like your life?’

‘Do I like my life?’ He answered without hesitation. ‘No, Mum, I absolutely love my life! I love Dan more than I ever knew was possible. I love our home, I love our friends and I love all that is coming our way. I have never been happier than I am right now, and I didn’t know I could be this happy.’

She caught the euphoria in his tone and smiled. Despite her earlier reservations about Daniel, this was all she had ever wanted for her son, all she wanted for Natalie too and all she had ever wanted for herself. She was determined to get back on that path, the straight one that led, she was certain, to a place called happiness.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

August 20th 1984

Standing in the bathroom, Bessie took her time, slowly peeling off her sticky clothes, still damp with orange squash, and piling them on the floor next to the laundry basket. She ran the cold tap and doused her flannel to wipe down her equally tacky body. Her movements were laboured, as if this was one final task that felt like too much at the end of the shittiest day. She was exhausted, but before, any tiredness had usually been tempered with thoughts of Lawrence, the next party or even the prospect of shaving her legs . . . All of these mental escape hatches were, however, now closed and her fatigue was bone-deep. With a clean, fresh-scented nightie over her head, all she wanted was to sleep and wake tomorrow at the dawn of a new day with less nausea and a clearer head. Or better still to wake in a little while and discover that the whole horrible day had been nothing more than a nightmare. She closed her eyes briefly, confused as to what to worry about next: her rubbish results? Her lack of confidence now in being able to achieve her dreams? Her crappy future now she was barred from the sixth form? The fact that the whole school would know she had had lots of sex? The fact that Lawrence had lied to her? Or that she and her beloved Michelle had fallen out? Bessie’s head pounded and again her tears sprung from eyes red raw from crying.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she made a solemn vow. ‘I am never, ever drinking ever again! Never.’