‘Philip was the only one who knew. He helped me. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without him,’ Bess said. ‘I managed to keep the pregnancy secret for a few months and then I went away on an air hostess course, or so my parents thought – they gave me money for it, which paid for my B&B, and Philip came and saw me when he could. And then I went into hospital in Slough and I left the baby there.’ Her tears gushed at this simplified version of her tortured experience. The memory of that day, that moment, walking through the electric doors and out into the fresh air without her baby was one she would never, ever forget. A pocket of emptiness had lodged in her breast which had grown over the years. ‘I said I didn’t want her. I signed a form to say I didn’t want her.’ Her speech was hard to understand through her tears. ‘But that wasn’t true – I did want her, but I knew I couldn’t keep her. She was adopted by a couple who had been told about the baby when I was only a few months gone. It was an arrangement made through the Church.’

‘I don’t . . . I don’t know what to say . . .’

‘I don’t know what to say, Mario, and it was me it happened to. I have never known what to say.’

‘Did you meet the couple?’ His voice was soft, reverential.

She nodded. ‘Once, briefly. They came to the hospital when she was brand new and I was still holding her.’ The words slid down her throat like glass. ‘They were nice to me. They told me they had two boys already and had always wanted a girl, but she couldn’t have any more children . . . and so I gave her mine.’ She felt the sob build in her chest.

‘Did you name her?’ His voice cracked, and she nodded.

‘Her name is Ellory – “E” for Ellory.’ It was the first time Bess had said her name out loud to another human being since the day she had given birth to her. The sudden rush of emotion left her a little dizzy. ‘The nurse told me the couple liked the name and would keep it.’ Her head sank on to her chest and she fought for breath. Mario slipped down from the mattress and joined her on the floor, holding her fast against him as her tears fell. The solidity and proximity of him warmed her, as it always had. ‘It’s a big deal for me,’ she sniffed. ‘She doesn’t know who I am, and I don’t know anything about her, but I gave her that name and it’s like she carries a little bit of me around with her every day because of it.’

‘And you haven’t seen her since you had her?’

‘No.’

‘Does she know about you?’