Vanya exits. Masha and Sonia sit down. They’re quiet for a bit.

SONIA I love Sleepy Time tea.

MASHA I prefer caffeinated tea.

SONIA I’m sorry what I said about Spike taking Nina home. Actually, he mumbled, I’m not sure what he said. And I hope he’ll be back very soon. I don’t want you to be unhappy.

MASHA Thank you.

A moment of peace.

SONIA Though you don’t care whether I’m unhappy since you want to sell the house out from under us.

MASHA I PAY ALL THE BILLS AND IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE!

SONIA Fine! Vanya and I will get prescription sleeping pills and kill ourselves. Will that make you happy?

MASHA You enjoy complaining too much to kill yourself. You’ll go to your grave complaining. And you cheated on your costume tonight. You said you were going as the Evil Queen but no one got “Mirror Mirror” from you, they got Dame Maggie Smith winning a fucking Oscar. If you had gone as a dwarf, my costume would have worked. Snow White needs at least three dwarfs for the costume to make sense.

SONIA Oh stop talking about your costume, I’m sick of hearing about it.

MASHA I should have called up Equity and hired seven Equity actors to be all seven dwarfs, and then you and Vanya could’ve just stayed home.

SONIA I’m glad we went to the party. And people liked me. (does Maggie Smith voice) Yes they did. I had a good time. Didn’t I, Sidney?

MASHA I should’ve known better than to let you choose your own costume. Anyone who wears a tiara and sequins is always going to be the winner.

SONIA Masha, you have won in so many ways throughout your entire life, can you REALLY not survive one night where I wore a costume that people liked more than the one you wore? Not even for one night are you willing for me to outshine you?

MASHA You often outshine me.

SONIA When?

MASHA I don’t know. When I’m not here, you outshine me. Besides, it’s unimportant who preferred whose costume at some stupid party. I’m just having a hard time. Do you mind? I’m getting older, my five marriages didn’t work out, I had this young man, I thought, but he seems to be lusting after Nina, and at least five other women at the party. He’s clearly oversexed. And I just feel old and vulnerable. Forgive me for having feelings.