SONIA Yes, I think I have one-upped her tonight. She has ways to win in the long run however.

NINA Oh I sense sadness. Don’t be sad. Life is wonderful, isn’t it? Oh Uncle Vanya, dear Sonia—this morning I woke up with no hopes for my artistic endeavors, and by this evening I have the chance of an agent through Spike, and I’m going to a party with a world-class actress and movie star. Oh, life is like a long, long pathway in the forest, filled with wonderful surprises ahead. Artistic fulfillment, fame, fortune . . . love. Do you agree?

SONIA (tough and not agreeing) Sure.

VANYA (kinder) Yes, yes. All those things.

Masha calls from outside, or enters an outer room and shouts inside.

MASHA Hey, Dopey! Get in the car, I don’t like waiting for people. People wait for me, not the other way around, okay?

NINA (to Vanya and Sonia) See you at the party.

Masha goes back toward the car, with Nina following close behind. Vanya and Sonia look at each other.

SONIA Masha is selling the house. And she says “Let’s go enjoy the party.”

VANYA I know. We gave up all those years taking care of our parents, but we forgot to make a life for ourselves.

SONIA Oh God.

VANYA Do you want to skip going to the party? We could see if there’s a cake in the kitchen, and eat the entire thing, and then roll about on the floor until we pass out in a sugar-induced semi-coma.

SONIA Ah, you’re remembering how we spent last New Year’s Eve here. That was fun. But I don’t want to do that tonight. No, we’re dressed in costumes, we never leave the house, I say . . . (in Maggie Smith voice) Let’s go to the party, Sidney.

Vanya offers his arm; he and Sonia exit.

ACT II

ACT II

Scene 1

After the party. Sounds of a car driving up. Maybe sounds of voices, not decipherable, out in the driveway.

Sonia and Vanya come in and go to the Morning Room.

VANYA What’s the matter with Masha?

SONIA (in a good mood, enjoying that Masha isn’t in a good mood) I don’t think she had a good time.

VANYA She was talking to lots of people. I assumed she was enjoying herself.

SONIA Ssssssh. Here she comes.

Masha comes in, in a bad mood.

MASHA Oh for God’s sake. (calls out to the car) I don’t see why she can’t walk home. Doesn’t she just live next door?

Spike, also annoyed, follows her in.

SPIKE It’s dark out. She could fall in a ditch.

MASHA She’s young, it wouldn’t hurt her.

SPIKE Masha, stop calling out the door that it’s all right if Nina falls in a ditch.