CASSANDRA Beware of thinking too much! Focus on the little things. One foot after another. Enjoying a good cup of coffee and not smashing it onto the ground. A lovely chocolate cookie.

VANYA Oh I’d like a cookie.

SONIA I would too.

VANYA Oh remember when Nana used to bring us tea and graham crackers to tide us over until dinner.

SONIA Oh, graham crackers, graham crackers!

VANYA And Masha would never have more than one . . . she was preparing to be an actress even then, and chose to watch her figure.

SONIA Imagine eating only one graham cracker. (suddenly remembering) Oh, Masha! I forgot to tell you. She’s coming out here today.

VANYA Masha is coming? She called?

SONIA I forgot to tell you.

VANYA No, you purposely don’t tell me things. It’s one of the ways in which you make life unnecessarily complicated.

SONIA (angry, feeling criticized) I FORGOT to tell you. I am bi-polar and I have incipient dementia.

VANYA What time is she coming?

SONIA In an hour or so.

Suddenly there is the sound of a car pulling up outside.

SONIA No . . . sooner.

Vanya realizes he’s in his nightshirt, and goes quickly upstairs, or maybe toward the kitchen, in order to pull on pants.

CASSANDRA (referring to the car outside) Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. A Trojan horse can hide many things. Someone is with your sister, and he carries Trojans in his back pocket. I will be in the basement doing laundry. If I hear gunshots, I’ll come back up.

Cassandra exits.

SONIA I really think we should get a new cleaning woman.

Vanya returns with pants. He lets the top of the nightshirt pass as a regular shirt.

VANYA Why is Masha here? Did she say?

Enter MASHA, attractive and grand, mid 50s, and looking great. With her is a handsome young man named SPIKE, age 27 or so. Spike is maybe dressed in worn-out jeans with rips in them. Or maybe is wearing more trendy, relaxed clothes. Sure of himself, and self-involved. Also outgoing.

Masha is dressed well, a bit glamorous as if she might run into photographers somewhere.

MASHA Dearest Vanya. Sweetest Sonia. How wonderful to see you. How I’ve missed you, and this beautiful house. (realizes she’s missing something) Spike, darling, would you go to the car? I forgot to bring my Snow White costume.

SPIKE Okay.

MASHA And don’t forget the shepherd’s crook.

SPIKE Okay. (to Vanya and Sonia, friendly, wised-up) Women, huh?

Spike exits.

MASHA Sweetest Vanya, dearest Sonia. How I’ve missed you. You both look the same. Older. Sadder. But the same. It’s wonderful to see you, Vanya. Oh, and you too, Sonia.

SONIA Yes, hello. I’m easy to miss.