And also beware of something happening to this house. (walks toward them, or walks in a bit of a circle) The house, beware. Be wary. Something bad is coming. You may lose the house.

VANYA Lose it?

CASSANDRA Someone will sell the house right from under you and you will become homeless. You will walk many miles to the poorhouse.

SONIA Surely someone would give us a ride.

CASSANDRA No, you will walk.

VANYA And I don’t think there are such things as the poorhouse anymore.

CASSANDRA You will live in the gutter then. Excuse me, I must go and get a Dust Buster and a pail of water and sponge to CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!

She exits, angry.

VANYA I wish she wouldn’t come every week and tell us terrible things. It feels abusive.

SONIA Yes, but sometimes she seems to get some of it right, no? Remember when she said a bat was going to get inside the house, and then it did at 2 a.m.

VANYA Yes, true.

SONIA Or that time she said I was going to break my middle toe, and minutes later I did.

VANYA Yes, but that may have been some kind of hypnotic suggestion.

SONIA Nonetheless she said those things and they happened. And when she started to talk about our losing the house, the house where we’ve been so happy, I became sad, and frightened.

VANYA Where we’ve been so happy?

SONIA I know I complain, but in some ways I love it here. It’s where I’ve been since I was 8 years old. I came from an orphanage, into a family that either loved me or pretended to, I get confused about that. And it’s pretty here. And I love to look at the pond. I love the wild turkeys who wander about the property, I like learning they’re so awkward that they sleep in trees but repeatedly fall out of them. I identify with them. I often fall out of my bed, thrashing about in my restless sleep. I am a wild turkey. I am a wild turkey. And I love the cherry orchard in the spring. All the pink blossoms, nature so resplendent.

VANYA The cherry orchard? What cherry orchard?

SONIA We have 10 or 11 cherry trees, they blossom every spring. Do you not remember?

VANYA I remember. But it’s not an orchard. You don’t call 10 or 11 trees an orchard.

SONIA I do. I wouldn’t call 2 or 3 trees an orchard, but 10 or 11 trees, I do call an orchard.

Cassandra comes back with a Dust Buster, and cleans up the broken pieces of cups . . .

CASSANDRA Beware of chicken with salmonella. Beware of mushrooms that grow in the meadow.

SONIA Just clean up the floor, would you? And besides your entreaties never tell us what to do to protect ourselves.