All night he has been turning over the implications of a divorce; the loss of Veronica and his child. He loves Veronica. More to the point she is his route out of all the old ignominy, his ancient obsessions. The mad visit to the hospital seems like years ago now, his fixation with Satnam an odd, strange delirium that he can now clearly see was merely a replaying of the old stuff, the odd, unwelcome reprise of a greater, longer lasting obsession, his first, last and singular love. He’d seen something in the girl the instant she arrived on campus, had picked her out from the gaggle of lanky boys and giggling lasses. She was only moderately pretty and no intellectual and – though you couldn’t ever say this in today’s world – he wasn’t generally drawn to ethnic girls and yet he found it hard not to look at her. He had been so puzzled by his attraction that it was easier just to deny its existence. And so it went under the radar where it should have stayed. He made sure she was never in his seminar groups and kept his distance at faculty events. It was months before the problem of her magnetism resurfaced at the remedial maths class he’d run during the summer. His growing fixation unsettled him terribly. Still though, the class was short and he was able to restrain himself, in part because his attraction remained such a puzzle. It was Veronica who’d nailed it at the faculty Christmas drinks party. His wife was the first to remark on the resemblance between Satnam and Maddy Ince. And when he looked closely, he could see it too. From that moment two things happened. First, his obsession grew, even as he understood that, just like Maddy, Satnam would only ever be a poor stand-in for Zoe. Secondly, he became aware that Mark Ratner was screwing his students. Which meant that, so long as Cullen was discreet, there was no reason he shouldn’t join in the fun. Ratner wasn’t likely to snitch on him.