‘Whatever the trouble is, we can fix this, Satnam.’ She thinks, you called me. You want me here. Please, let me come closer. Let me come to you.

Her friend is shaking her head now.

‘Please, Sat, it’s going to be OK. I promise.’

The girl is sobbing and speaking. As the wind dies most of what reaches Nevis is incoherent, a slurred stream of words not meaning much. The odd sentence makes its way to her. You don’t understand. I’ve had enough. I can’t live with myself any more.

Nevis takes a step forward. Her heart is a drum roll, pulse drilling her brain. She thinks, why did you ask for me? Was it to ease your soul or to be a witness to your death? She stops, dizzy with fear, clutches her head and in that instant something soft arcs across her field of vision. A shout. ‘Oh God, no!’

She turns to see an owl banking over the gorge.

An owl means wisdom.

An owl means endurance.

An owl means new beginnings.

The owl is a sign.

‘Satnam!’ No answer. Nevis is close enough now to see her friend’s face, dazed and expressionless, the head unsupported and wobbly, shaking on legs that don’t seem to belong to her, hair pasted by the rain against her cheeks, speaking without making sense. She feels herself surge forwards calling, saying ‘No!’ and ‘Please!’ and finally, ‘I love you!’

Satnam lifts her right foot. Nevis can no longer look, feels the breeze against her cheek as she turns away. The world goes to black and one by one the tracings of the retinal veins appear like red comets. The wind whips up again and sings through the wires of the barrier. Nevis braces herself. Behind her Sondra cries out.

Chapter 4

Honor