‘Ha!’ Alex pours them both another drink. For a moment there is a meeting of eyes before Honor looks away. Something happened on that trip to Bath, Honor thinks. She has spent so much of her life stuck in the mud at the riverbank but on that trip she looked at Alex, still bravely navigating the currents midstream, and saw someone that, at some distant point, when all this was over, she might love.

‘There are two things I’ve been keeping from Nevis which I think could really impact on her stability, on her sense of identity, on everything, really. All these years I’ve told her that her mother died in a traffic accident, but that’s not true. Zoe killed herself. But I haven’t been able to tell Nevis that without telling her why. And I’m afraid telling her why might destroy her. But now, with all this going on, and, you know, they say suicide runs in families.’ Her chest is vice-tight now and her breathing is coming in short pants, like a dog in the sun. She manages to blurt it out just before her throat seizes. ‘I’m scared, Alex.’

A moment passes. Rising, Alex moves closer and quietly lays his arms around her. ‘We’ll figure it out.’

She takes in the warm, spicy man scent of him and closes her eyes. The seconds go by, then the minutes. Oh how good this feels and how necessary now. ‘Thank you,’ she says, lifting her head from its spot on his sweater and opening her eyes. Behind Alex the TV continues to flicker. An image catches her eye. She holds her breath and, pulling away, says, ‘There, on the TV. Turn up the volume.’

His face registers her alarm. He turns and freezes. His eyes are on the screen now too. As he reaches for the remote a woman’s voice can be heard saying:

Police have cordoned off the northern section of the Three Lakes nature reserve and are appealing for witnesses. At this time they are unable to confirm the identity of the dead woman and are not commenting on the cause of death.

Chapter 41

Honor