Curling her hand into her lap, she stopped speaking. He was right, he deserved more than an old platitude dredged from the book of what to say when you want out. They sat in silence for a beat or two, the atmosphere weighted with acute embarrassment, shock and, on her part, a gnawing feeling of guilt.

‘I think you’re wonderful and you deserve to be with someone who loves you in the way you need them to. I care about you, Miguel. I have loved spending time with you and your kindness is something I will always treasure, but I need to go home and I came back to tell you goodbye and to hand in my notice.’

‘Do you know, I think it’s kind of worse.’ He jumped up from the floor and paced. ‘It is. It’s shit to know you would have been happy to let us drift, working our shifts, having sex at the weekends and eating warmed-up leftovers in front of the television, for how long? For ever? While I thought we had a destination, a plan, marriage, kids, the lot . . . I feel so bloody stupid!’

‘I don’t want you to feel stupid. That’s the last thing I want. You are nothing but kindness. And in the long run . . .’ She wanted to make things, if not better, then as easy as possible. ‘I think too much of you to let you linger on in hope, or worse, receive some flimsy excuse over the phone as to why we are not suited. That would be cowardly, and I’m not a coward. Trust me that it’s better we talk this way. No matter how hard.’

Miguel kept his eyes on the floor. ‘I’m so disappointed. Gutted.’

‘I take it as nothing but the most incredible compliment that you could even consider feeling the way you do about me. Because you are wonderful.’

‘And good-looking.’ He looked up at her as his tears pooled, despite his crack at humour.

‘You are, Miguel. Incredibly good-looking.’ She felt the creep of tears at the fact that she was cutting loose from this human who was beautiful both inside and out.

‘What are you going to do now?’ he asked, coughing to clear his throat.

Merrin looked out through the French windows and gasped as a peacock strutted into view, his tail spread to reveal a stunning broad fan of teal and gold, shimmering in all its glory. It was breathtakingly beautiful. A fine farewell to this chapter of her life.

‘I’m going to pack up and go home.’ She smiled softly with the joy surging through the rocks of her grief. ‘I’m going home.’

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX MERRIN

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

MERRIN