“I want you to assure me my wife won’t be coming back.”

“Done,” I say. “And while I’m at it, I’ll revoke your membership too.” I’m done with both of them.

He’s off the couch in a heartbeat. “I’m keeping my membership.”

“Wrong.”

There’s a kerfuffle outside my office, and the door flings open. Sam stands on the threshold taking in the scene, John hovering behind him. “Okay?” I ask.

“Ava’s here,” he pants, and I freeze. The fuck? How? “Jesse?” Sam says, poking me from my inertness. “Ava is here, man.”

I snap to life, being assisted back to reality by the sound of Mike’s cackling laugh. “Who let her in?” I ask, charging past Sam and John, running down the corridor. “Who the fuck let her through the gates?”

“Don’t know,” Sam says.

“Where is she?”

“In the bar.”

But when I land in the bar, Ava is nowhere in sight, and I inhale, fearing the worst. I back out of the room slowly, casting my eyes up the curved staircase.

And I know.

I just fucking know.

Dread builds with every step I take, my pace gaining as I go, and when I reach the bottom of the staircase to the communal room, I peer up, seeing the doors open. Rosa appears, looking stricken with worry.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ward,” she mumbles as she rushes past my static form. I take in air and climb the stairs, feeling heavy and despondent, and when I breach the entrance, I find her standing stock-still in the center of the room, silent, gazing around. As if I need to remind myself what surrounds us, I look too. Ropes. Suspension grids. Every piece of bondage gear imaginable, and also some she probably could never imagine. She looks so wrong in here. So out of place, and for the first time in my adult life, I feel out of place too. I don’t want to be in here.

“Fucking hell,” she says quietly, and I swallow hard.

“Watch your mouth.” It’s all that comes to me. All I’m capable of as I stand here staring at the back of the woman I love, wondering how many moments I have left in her presence. Any peace I’ve had will be taken away . . . because I’m gutless. This woman deserved truth, not omissions. How can we possibly come back from this?

She flies around fast, and the look on her face is like a knife to my heart. She doesn’t speak, just stares at me as I stare back. I can see her mind spinning. She’s going over every detail of her time with me, piecing it all together, bringing her to this reality. Bringing her to now.

Sam crashes into the room, and I look past him to find Kate looking awkward on the sidelines.