It’s a good question, and one I’ve avoided answering myself for all the years I’ve indulged in the thrill of the ride. Because I’m reckless. It’s the same reason I drive like a dick. Driving made me so angry for so many years after I lost Carmichael and Rosie. Just getting behind the wheel brought on a fury like no other. So I drove recklessly.

Maybe because I wanted to be dead too.

I flinch. Stop getting angry behind the wheel. “I’ve ridden bikes since I—” Since I lost Jake. “For many years.”

“You’re going to have to reveal an age at some point.” She smiles, and my damn heart bleeds as I force one in return.

“Maybe.”

I move quickly through the summer room, despite the fact the crowds have thinned out, members making their way upstairs. I hear Sam before I see him. “My man,” he sings as I pull Ava into the bar. “Ava, I love your Little Miss knickers.” He grins as he thrusts a bag forward, and I glare at him.

“Don’t push your fucking luck, Sam,” I seethe. What was I thinking having him rummage through Ava’s drawers?

“There’s a line, Sam,” Drew pipes up.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he grumbles, though I hardly hear him, my attention on the bar and the members having a good gawp at Ava in my grasp.

I claim her bag. “I’m taking Ava home. Are you running tomorrow?”

“Nah, I might be tied up.”

“Where’s Kate?” Ava asks, her cheeks bright red.

“She had a few deliveries to do.” Sam takes a swig of his beer, raising his eyebrows at me over his bottle. “She got all excited about taking Margo Junior out on her maiden voyage. I’ve been dumped for a pink van. I’m heading over when I’m done here.”

“Done what?” Drew says, and Sam’s happy eyes narrow.

“Fuck you.”

It’s time to go. “Bye, lads,” I call, tugging Ava away before they drop me in the shit. “Tell Kate Ava’s with me.” I make a sharp exit, Ava pretty much jogging along behind me to keep up. I pull the door of my Aston open, and she pouts.

“I want to go on the bike.”

“Right now, I want you in lace, not leather. Get in the car.” I’ve been waiting all day for my medicine. I’m sure I’ll keel over if I don’t get it soon and, thankfully, Ava must appreciate that, because she’s quickly in the passenger seat. I dive in the car and pull off like a bat out of hell, racing down the driveway. It’s time to stop driving like a dickhead.

But I can feel the want coming off her skin like steam, and that is not helping my urgency.