Peace overcomes me as I finger her slowly, relishing the consistent feeling of her throbbing around my touch. It doesn’t take me long to get her to climax. Her cry is broken, her body stiff, as she comes all over my hand on endless whimpers.

“Remember yet?” I ask quietly, and she sighs, forcing her eyes open. Our stares meet. It tells me everything I need. I drop a light kiss onto her lips and pick her up, placing her on the edge of the counter and crowding her. Because crowding her works. So fuck you, John. “Why do you keep running away from me?” I ask, needing to know, desperately needing to know, so I can fix it and ensure it never happens again.

She looks away and shrugs. A shrug? Come on, Ava. I take her chin and direct her face to mine. “Talk to me, baby.” Please. Tell me everything that’s on your mind. Let me help you figure this out.

“You’re distracting me,” she says on a long exhale. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

There it is. And, fuck, I am guaranteed to hurt her. But . . . “I’m a distraction?”

“Yes.”

“What am I distracting you from?” I ask quickly. She distracts me too, but whereas it’s a good thing for me, it’s mighty obvious Ava doesn’t think it’s a good thing for her.

“Being sensible,” she says, looking awkward. Her answer throws me. Being sensible would be to stop incessantly challenging this incredible thing we have and accept it. Why can’t she do that? It seems the second I don’t crowd her, she talks herself out of it.

“Ava, know one thing.” It’s the only thing she needs to know right now. “I’ll do anything to avoid hurting you.” Anything. I’m yet to figure out how I can make that happen, but my good intentions are there. It’s the very reason I’m holding on to my secrets. I don’t want to hurt her, and in the process hurt myself. I’m done with hurting myself. “Please don’t run away from me.” I kiss her gently, resorting to my ace card. “I’m going to distract you some more now. We need to make friends.” I pull her off the counter, and she wraps herself around me in that way she does. Like she doesn’t want to let go. And I know deep down she doesn’t, which makes the whole thing so frustrating. What did Sarah say to her that made her run from someone she loves?

I’m about to ask but think better of it. Not now. She’s attached to me, and I can’t risk changing that.