“Not properly, but we will be soon, baby.” I plant a kiss on her nose and sink to my knees before her, slipping my thumbs past the seam of her lace knickers, anticipation killing me. And yet, I don’t rip them off. I don’t hurry this. Truthfully, I can’t believe she’s here.

I close my eyes and let my forehead fall forward, the weight of my thoughts too much. She loads me with strength, and yet makes me weak. She makes me see clearly, and yet distorts everything. She makes me crazy, and yet stabilizes me. The conflict is a burden. But also a blessing.

The sensation of her stroking my hair is hypnotizing, and I spend an age trying to straighten out my mind, trying to justify what I have done. I can’t excuse it. I pull back on an inhale and stare at her stomach, apologizing over and over, leaning in and placing a lingering kiss there as I take the sides of her knickers and peel them down her legs. She lifts a foot in turn, and I cast them aside, fighting my mind from straying too far from this moment.

She tugs my hair and I look up at her questioning face. She’s sensed my despondency. Would she understand why I’ve done what I’ve done? Does she realize she’s saving me? I cup her arse and press my mouth into her stomach again. She has to understand. Has to.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, and I face her. I will make you understand.

“Nothing.” Everything. “Nothing’s wrong.” I need to distract her. Stop her questions until I’ve figured out how the fuck I can answer them. I yank her onto my mouth and plunge my tongue deep into the walls of her pussy. I’m instantly drunk on her, ravenous for more. I kiss her, bite her, suck, circle, plunge, lick.

“Ohhhhh!” she moans, yanking at my hair as I feast on her. “I need a shower.”

“I need you,” I mumble, and my need trumps all others. I need to sate it. And at the same time, send her delirious to the point she wonders what she ever did without me. She needs to be as addicted to me as I am to her. This needs to be even ground.

“You taste incredible,” I mumble, her walls pulsing against my mouth incessantly. “Tell me when you’re close.”

“I’m close,” she yells desperately.

“Someone’s keen this morning.” I introduce my fingers, enduring her vicious yanking of my hair.

“Oh, shit. Please.”

“Watch,” I growl, increasing my pace, “your,” I circle my tongue firmly, her vibrations sinking into me, “fucking,” I seethe, “mouth.” I sink my finger deep, circling wide, my tongue making long, firm licks.