Fuck knows how long later, I glance out of the window, seeing the sun going down. I reach up with a wobbly hand to unfasten the top button of my shirt as I get up and go to the cabinet. There’s a knock at the door. “Go away,” I mumble.

More vodka.

I’m ignored, and the door opens. Sarah walks in, her eyes falling to the bottle in my hand. “Want some help unwinding?”

“No, I want to be alone,” I snap, not that my drunken slur penetrates her thick skin.

She says no more and closes the door behind her, and I stagger to the couch, flopping down, the soft cushion feeling like iron against my pounding head. It’s not pounding with the effects of alcohol. It’s still fucking pounding with visions, memories, and fucking feelings. How much do I need to drink to make this all go away? Will it ever go away? Will I ever return to the welcome place of nothingness?

More vodka.

Restless, I get up and start pacing my office, my legs unstable, my big body swaying. Why the fuck am I still hurting?

More vodka.

Knock, knock.

“I said—” I look at my office door when it opens.

And stare at Freja Van Der Haus on the threshold.

She pulls the tie of her overcoat. Shrugs it off. My eyes drop down her bare body.

“Shut the door,” I order harshly, placing my bottle on the cabinet as she obeys. I scrub my hands down my rough cheeks, wrestling away the fact that she looks nothing like Ava. At least twenty years older. More meat on her bones. Blonde hair. Too much makeup. She couldn’t be any more different. “Come here.”

She wanders slowly over, and even through my drunken eyes, I see her body lighting up. She stops in front of me.

Forget.

Eliminate her.

Do whatever it takes to free myself of this nightmare. And, more importantly, free Ava of me. And the daze of the alcohol kicks in—yes, this is familiar. A willing woman. No fight. This. Is. How. I. Fuck. It doesn’t matter which pussy. Just a willing fuck. “Turn around,” I say, my voice groggy. She slowly turns, looking over her shoulder coyly. She wants foreplay. A build-up. An extended session to blow her mind.