10:14:09 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Sometimes I imagine the three of us lying in bed together – your arms wrapped around me, our beloved little worm curled like a cold, wet rope on my stomach

10:14:19 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Wouldn’t that be perfect?

10:14:27 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Don’t you dream of those things too?

10:14:35 <crushedmarigolds> I haven’t been dreaming lately

10:14:45 <crushedmarigolds> I have to go get some sleep

10:14:27 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Can’t you stay?

10:14:32 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Five more minutes?

10:14:43 <crushedmarigolds> We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll send you an email

10:14:48 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> You still love me?

10:14:55 <crushedmarigolds> Yes

10:14:59 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> I love you, too

10:15:02 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> The both of us do

[<crushedmarigolds> has left the chat]

[<agnes_in_wonderland_76> has left the chat]

EMAIL FROM ZOE CROSS

Date: 08/16/2000

Time: 12:17 p.m.

From: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>

To: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

Subject: I’m having second thoughts

Agnes,

This isn’t an easy email for me to write. I’m afraid none of this gives me any semblance of pleasure.

If I expect total honesty and obedience from you, then you, at the very least, deserve the same amount of trustworthiness from me.

The truth is I’m worried about you. Not only your physical health, but your mental well-being as well.

If I’m being totally honest with you – some of the things I’ve made you do have been rooted in a place of selfishness. Some of the things I’ve made you do have been a result of my whims – placing bets on your endurance and wondering how far you’ll go before you break.

You’ve proved me wrong several times, and I’m afraid much of the hardship was at your expense.

I’m not a good person. Not as good of a person as you are.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but you deserve someone who won’t pretend to care for you while they are meanwhile banking on your misfortune.

Because of this, I’m thinking of ending things between us for the foreseeable future.

I know you’re going to be upset. But this is for the best. I ask you to trust me.

I know I certainly don’t deserve any trust given my capriciousness, but I know in time you’ll come to recognize that I’m trying to help you. For the first time I’m thinking of someone other than myself. It scares me.

But letting something happen to you scares me even more.

The sad truth is I don’t think I love you as much as you love me. And that’s OK. That happens in relationships all the time – there’s always someone who loves more than the other.

But I can’t take ownership of your destruction. I want this to stop.

EMAIL FROM AGNES PETRELLA

Date: 08/16/2000

Time: 2:08 p.m.

From: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

To: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>