4. The Drudge will only consume food at the following times: 10 a.m., 1 p.m., and 6 p.m. This strict regimen of feeding will not only improve digestion but will keep the Drudge balanced and in good faith with the Sponsor.

5. The Drudge will confer with the Sponsor before making any large purchases as the Sponsor holds the account information for the Drudge.

6. The Sponsor accepts full responsibility of the Drudge. This includes but is not limited to: the Drudge’s survival, health, physical well-being, and mental well-being. The Drudge accepts full responsibility for informing the Sponsor of any real or perceived dangers or safety concerns, but also agrees that the Sponsor’s decision will be final regarding these issues.

7. The Drudge agrees and understands that any infractions of this contract, or any act the Drudge commits which displeases the Sponsor, will result in punishment.

8. This agreement may not be assigned by either party to any third party.

9. This agreement may be amended in writing at the Sponsor’s behest and will require compliance from both parties

[Omitted]

This contract is valid from the day the Drudge replies to this email with “Accepted, understood, and agreed to” and is effective for all time unless terminated by the Sponsor.

EMAIL FROM AGNES PETRELLA

Date: 06/07/2000

Time: 12:05 p.m.

From: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

To: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>

Subject: Re: Contract Agreement

Accepted, understood, and agreed to.

Signed,

Agnes Petrella

Part Three

PART THREE

A SALAMANDER FROM THE PARK

EMAIL FROM ZOE CROSS

Date: 06/08/2000

Time: 6:49 a.m.

From: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>

To: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

Subject: A Drudge’s Duties

Good morning Drudge,

I trust you slept well.

I imagine you’re getting ready to leave for work, and that’s precisely why I’m emailing you.

I have another task for you. Something that will undoubtedly make you uncomfortable. Then again, aren’t those the moments when we change the most – when we’re uncomfortable?

I’d like you to go into the communal bathroom at work and leave your undergarments in the stall for someone to find. Perhaps a pair embellished with lace, or maybe a pair you’ve yet to wash.

Regardless of the pair you choose, I want the undergarment deserted in a conspicuous place – where someone can and will find it.

I trust you will complete this task in as expeditious a manner as possible and will reply to this message with “Done” when you have properly executed the assignment.

What have you done today to deserve your eyes?

Yours,

Sponsor

EMAIL FROM AGNES PETRELLA

Date: 06/08/2000

Time: 9:09 a.m.

From: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

To: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>

Subject: Re: A Drudge’s Duties

Done.

Signed,

Agnes Petrella

EMAIL FROM AGNES PETRELLA

Date: 06/08/2000

Time: 2:17 p.m.

From: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

To: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>

Subject: Re: A Drudge’s Duties

Well, it finally happened.