Unfortunately, there’s no way to authenticate this claim that the apple peeler was once used by Mr. Ives. On two separate occasions, I have scoured my parents’ basement in search of photographs documenting the picnic and found no evidence of Mr. Ives at a family picnic in the late 1940’s. In an effort to be as transparent with you as possible, my grandmother was prone to manufacturing stories that she imagined might titillate her guests. She once told a family friend that Marcello Mastroianni (you might remember him from La Dolce Vita) was a distant family relation on her mother’s side. Her stories became more fanciful and varied in her old age; however, she clung to the story of Charles Ives until the night the hospice nurses arrived.

Make of that what you will.

If you’re in the market for a conversation starter, then look no further. I can’t tell you the amount of times house guests have marveled at this particular antique appliance pinned to my kitchen wall. On more than three separate occasions I’ve had offers from guests to purchase the peeler; however, at the time, I couldn’t bear to part with it.

If you’re a serious collector with a fervent taste for traditional Americana – no pun intended – then this is the appliance for you. Be mindful that this appliance is still in proper working order. Though, a skilled owner will be aware not to overuse the tool as it requires the tenderness only a true collector possesses. It’s my sincere hope that this apple peeler go to a considerate and thoughtful owner, eager to add a touch of history to their beautiful home, or perhaps to add another excellent addition to their growing collection.

Feel free to email me: agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com with any further questions. I’m delighted to help in any way I can. Please do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Please be advised, once purchased I will not accept returns or issue refunds.

EMAIL FROM ZOE CROSS

[The following pages contain the first correspondence between Zoe Cross and Agnes Petrella. As mentioned in the Author’s Note, certain sections of the email correspondence have been truncated or omitted entirely as Ms. Cross’s case is still pending an investigation.]

Date: 05/28/2000

Time: 12:09 p.m.

From: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>

To: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

Subject: Re: Antique Apple Peeler with Vibrant History for Sale

Dear Agnes,

While I don’t claim to possess the refinement of a serious antique collector, I’m filled with the same urgency of your great-grandmother to acquire something very near and dear to my heart. My grandfather is turning ninety-two during the month of July. He’s especially fond of the work of composer Charles Ives and, quite frankly, I had to do a double take when I first read your original post because it seemed too serendipitous – too good to be true.