I don’t mean that’s a bad thing. Nothing wrong with perversion, not in private. Or in clubs for those with niche interests.

I think it’s something we should be honest about. State it proudly. Desire can be an emancipatory force.

So who else do you want to fuck?

The texts had been arriving quickly but the reply to this one took longer to come through.

Er, the thing is, I slept with an old friend last night.

I took some time to think about this and her texts carried on.

Antonio. Please don’t mind. It didn’t mean anything. We were all quite high.

I thought for a while, about Antonio, and the sitcom he was writing, and his pleasant good manners, his fastidiously clean white trainers, his baby-smooth cheeks, and his earnest penis which he probably popped in a glass of disinfectant when he went to bed at night, and I wrote back, That’s OK. Don’t worry.

You’re so enlightened.

You’re so slutty.

I don’t use that word even ironically.

I haven’t ever used it negatively.

That’s irlvnt.

I’m sorry.

That’s OK.

I’m not sorry.

That’s OK too. Given the circumstances. Would you mind if I did it again?

She was good at talking dirty.

I had no idea what she was doing with me.

I suspected I had some idea of what she was doing with me.

But even relationships sparked by malice and anger develop a tenderness to them.

Just please tell me it was only once when you get back.

*

Amy hadn’t sounded so approving of me for a long time when I told her I had been offered the job at the publishing house. She came over one Sunday after running her stall on Brick Lane.

‘That must have been tiring,’ I said.

She was visibly pregnant now, with a neat little bump showing though her jumper above her denim skirt.

‘Nah, I just sit down when I need to,’ she said. ‘And people seem to buy more from me. It’s like I’ve achieved charitable status.’

We were sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea. She looked around her and I saw the wonky cupboard doors and old cooker through her eyes.

‘It’s a good cooker, that,’ I said. ‘Much more useful than the modern style. See the grill pan at the top, separate from the oven? That’s incredibly useful.’

‘I believe you.’

‘Because if you’re grilling something in the oven, the fat goes everywhere and you have to clean your oven every—’

‘I believe you! Though I don’t believe that oven has ever been cleaned.’

I did not confirm or deny this.

‘I can’t believe you’re actually going to leave this place,’ she said.

‘Nor me.’

‘It will be good for you.’