I dragged a finger from one toned hip to the other. “Did you feel like you might just combust into stardust, never to return because it was just so…” I exhaled into his neck. “Fucking,” I moaned, “thrilling?” I laughed, low and without humor, when he didn’t answer, and then I stepped back.

His eyes, so bright blue they’d turned to ice, sank into mine. “You didn’t.” That deep, richly dignified voice cracked. “Tell me you didn’t.” He frowned, as if struggling to believe what he already knew. “Do not toy with me, Astrantia.”

Adrenaline faded rapidly. As did the satisfaction it had so briefly given.

My lack of response was all the confirmation he needed.

But before his ire caught fire, I asked him, “Do you remember what you said to me the night you tossed your guilt at my feet like a weapon?” Unlike him, I wouldn’t make excuses. But I would blame him just as he’d blamed me. “I’m certain you can recall reminding me of my failure to give you what you need. After years spent trying to be all you needed, desperate to give you the heir you desire while trying to fix this broken realm, after so many years by your side…”

He swallowed, the sound of it harsh.

“All these years, Rorn.” My voice dried to a rasp. “All my love and unwavering devotion, and you said I cared for nothing but my fucking womb, so you would see to it that our anguish ceased.” I sniffed, whispering and loathing the taste of repeating it all. “You also said you would do it again if necessary. As if that would somehow make me grateful. As if I would not see that you need an heir more than you’ll ever need me.”

“Bloom, that’s not true. You’re the reason for every-fucking-thing I do.”

Once, I might have believed that. For so long, I’d blindly believed every word that left his traitorous mouth.

The pieces of me he’d torn apart wished I still could, if only to alleviate the pain.

“Liar. I was the furthest thing from your mind when you fucked her. You didn’t think of me or this kingdom,” I seethed, my voice rising. “You thought of no one but yourself.”

“Astrantia,” he gritted, scarcely a whispered growl, for he’d loathe for anyone to overhear. “You’re angry and hurting, so you are refusing to understand.” He raised his hands when I opened my mouth to snarl at him. “The need for a babe has caused us to veer off path. Stars, can you not see how true that is now?”

“I never saw anything but you—”