Down with sin. Anyway: our Queen Nanny

Had a young buck Maroon in her army

Who one day rode to Cudjoe’s Leeward Land,

Where he saw a beautiful, young Akan

Girl, early one morning, just walking by,

We see this re-enacted by DARREN and KELLY.

A virgin, with no interest in this guy,

But he wouldn’t stop.

Pause.

He thought his strength gave

Him the right.

Longer pause.

Well, Cudjoe Town was outraged

By this criminal oppression, and so

Many protested to Captain Cudjoe

That the young Maroon was condemned to death,

By the law courts of St Elizabeth.

Now, that was the sentence of judge and jury –

But Queen Nanny and some Windward ladies

Begged the Captain to

THREE WINDWARD LADIES

Tink again and give

This bad young bwoy to us and let him live,

And leave the Leeward, and give Nanny a shot

At deciding whether to kill him or not.

ALVITA

Nanny was glad the King had changed his tune –

The boy came. And she said to this Maroon:

QUEEN NANNY

Yuh nuh outta trouble yet! Mi might still

Kill you. But capital punishment will

Only go so far. I’m interested in

Restorative justice. Understanding

Who you hurt and why. So here is my deal:

You’ll live – if you can tell me what we feel –

I mean we women. What we most desire.

You tell me that? I won’t set you on fire.

And if you don’t have the answer right now

I give you permission to leave this town

A year and a day. Wherever you go

Ask everybody you meet if they know.

But before you leave, you must guarantee

That when ‘Time’s up’ you come straight back to me.

ALVITA

This young Maroon was proper screwing

Because suddenly he wasn’t doing

Whatever he wanted. He had no choice

But to submit to the powerful voice

Of Queen Nanny, and start on his journey,

Then come back in a year on bended knee,

To this Queen, with an answer that would fly.

So off he rode, feeling very hard done by.

This bwoy went everywhere, to every yard,

Looking for anyone who had thought hard

About

YOUNG MAROON

Wat women want and love the most,

From the Blue Mountains to town and coast,

Me can’t find no one, enslaved or free,

Fi give me answers wat mek wi all agree!

ALVITA

Some said:

Here members of the PUB CHORUS, as well as some of Alvita’s HUSBANDS, interject:

HUSBAND WINSTON

The thing women love most is money.

ALVITA

Some said:

HUSBAND IAN

They’re drawn to power like bears to honey!

ALVITA

Some said:

AUNTIE P

Personally, I’m quite fond of jewels …

ZAIRE

Women want actual orgasms, you fools!

And to have multiple partners – unjudged.

ALVITA

But some said:

HUSBAND ELRIDGE

Give me a break. Can we please not fudge

The issue. Admit you’re most satisfied

When we worship you with flattering lies!

ALVITA