‘Only you can know when the time’s right,’ Steve said. He had introduced himself earlier, explaining how he’d nursed his wife through treatment for ovarian cancer. It hadn’t worked, the disease had been detected too late because a thirty-four-year-old mother of two presenting with symptoms couldn’t possibly have cancer. ‘You shouldn’t feel pressurised, Jode. It could be they’re only interested in pairing you up because they’re worried you’ll sink your claws into one of their husbands. The last time I went to what had been one of our regular couples’ nights, the men were ridiculously possessive of their wives. Probably explains why I wasn’t invited back.’

Blood rushed to April’s cheeks as she thought about her inner circle of friends. They had all rallied around her after Jason died, but April had slowly distanced herself. It was too painful to go out without Jason and, like Steve, she had detected a growing awkwardness too. She didn’t think her friends saw her as any sort of competition, but it did happen, didn’t it? People formed inappropriate attachments to their friends’ partners all the time, and you didn’t have to be widowed for it to happen.

Jodie rolled her eyes. ‘Seriously, Steve, I’m not a threat, and my mates know it. The idea of being with anyone else still feels like cheating on Ryan, and I couldn’t do that to him – especially with one of our friends.’

April took a breath. This was it. This was why she was here. She needed to delve deeper into Jodie’s theory about what friends would and wouldn’t do – what Jason would or wouldn’t do. Finally, she could tell a group of strangers what she couldn’t share with anyone else; that when she grieved for her husband, she felt a burning anger and a growing fear. Was it normal to suspect your dead husband of cheating on you? She needed to know.

2

April was about to share her darkest fears with the group, but before she could muster the courage, Nick cleared his throat to speak. The breath April had been holding escaped with a soft gasp, and she was left feeling crushed but temporarily relieved. What if she were wrong to suspect Jason? Worse still, what if she were right?

‘I’ve no idea how I’d fare in a new relationship,’ Nick began. ‘How could anyone compare to Erin when I choose to remember only the best parts of our relationship? I’ll never love anyone like I loved her. She was perfect.’

Nick turned to meet April’s gaze. He was seeking reassurance, but April lowered her head and closed her eyes as a rush of sacred memories assaulted her. She had once thought Jason was perfect too.

‘Would you like to tell us about Erin?’ asked Justine.