She didn’t think her parents or her in-laws would appreciate the story of that time Jason pretended to be in work when he was actually fucking one of their friends. Digging her hand into her pocket, she pulled out the bottle of beer she had brought, hoping that the act of leaving it on the grave would signal the end of this tormented ceremony, but as she stared at the label, the memory she had revisited earlier that morning came back to her.

‘The other year we went to a music festival in Sefton Park,’ she began as she recalled the heat of that summer and the warmth of her husband’s touch. ‘Jason was driving so I got really, really drunk and literally couldn’t walk in a straight line when it was time to go. He gave up trying to keep me up and flung me over his shoulder. I remember laughing so hard I’m surprised I wasn’t sick down his back.’

She felt sick now and put a hand to her mouth.

Sue rushed forward and wrapped her in her arms. ‘Oh, my love, I know how you feel. I miss him too,’ she sobbed. ‘It’s so unfair. The last time I spoke to him he was so excited for the future. He wanted to make you happy more than anything. He’d be devastated that he’s caused all this pain. We have to carry on, for him. We have to.’

April squeezed her eyes shut and held on to Jason’s mum. They were both shaking, but the noise April released was more of a howl than a sob.

‘Why don’t we go to the restaurant and get you a stiff drink?’ April’s dad offered when the two women pulled apart.

Seeing the look of panic on April’s ruddy face, Sue said, ‘It’s all right, your mum said you had other plans.’ She blew her nose and tried to smile when she added, ‘I think you’d like some time on your own, wouldn’t you, love? Shall we leave you to it?’

When April nodded gratefully, they slowly filed away, leaving her alone with the man she hated now as much as she had loved him then. Her jaw clenched as she opened the bottle of beer, but as she poured it out on a patch of grass next to Jason’s grave, the smell hit her. The memory of the music festival wasn’t ready to release her and she was hit by a fresh wave of grief. After Jason had flung her over his shoulder, and in between her fits of giggles, she had kept telling him off for tugging at her dress. She had been oblivious to the fact that her knickers were on show and Jason had simply been trying to protect her dignity.