After I read that, I just keep flipping the pages. I don’t want to tell my lawyer it’s not accurate. Because what does it matter? You know everyone’s going to believe Mackie. He’s a clean-cut guy. He got his degree. Besides, I’m reading the next one.

I cry when I read it, turning my head so my lawyer won’t see. This one isn’t typed officially.

Handwritten, it still smells like dirt and rain.

Dear Cops,

You guys called my house fifteen times and obviously I’m not home. Get off my back. I’m treeplanting. I’m mailing this to you cuz my foreman won’t let me come down their. I know what you want to talk to me about.

Sara Shaw was my girlfriend for 7 months and 13 days. I’ve known her almost my entire life, since I was twelve. I’m not saying anything bad about her and my mom says I shouldn’t get involved.

But I know her really well, better than anyone else. A lot of people thought she was shy but she wasn’t shy, she just doesn’t waste her breath on idiots. Me and her always had a lot of fun. I never even saw her hurt a fly. It pisses me off that a certain friend of mine narced to you guys about the knife. On Wednesday, she wasn’t at school. Then Thursday afternoon, she showed up and that friend of mine, who you should know is a complete and total burnout, said she was swearing a lot and looking dirty and that’s not like her so I don’t know. I heard she’s really changed so something must have happened to her. Something. She was supposed to come up here with me. I got her a job as a cook. She didn’t even call. Me and Bryce waited at her house for two hours. That’s why I think that something happened to her. I think that guy raped her cuz that might really screw a girl up right?

I basically ran the show in high school. I was a really popular guy and I would not go out with a PSYCHO. I liked her cuz she didn’t care what anyone thought about her and I always thought she was sexy in a tough way, not like those sluts at our school who constantly giggle and are annoying little airheads. I was the only guy she’d talk to. I was the only one who could make her laugh. She just always had her own way and I thought she was really mystical, or mysterious or what the fuck. I can’t believe she’s stuck in a jail with a bunch of criminals. Bad shit could happen to her in there. Guys can do sick stuff. I’m worried about her.