By the way, you guys arrested my brother once for selling weed in the bushes behind Kmart. Ronnie Black. Yeah, check your files dudes. Turned out he was just possessing oregano. So you “stayed” the charges. That’s cop talk for Oh, I’m sorry we made a mistake. Well, you’ve fucked up again with a girl and this is way different. Ronnie was 19, Sara’s just 16 and you’ve destroyed her life. Everyone knows you guys just hassle kids when you’re bored. It must be boring being a cop in a town full of fucking old people and Swedish tourists. But, you should just stop hassling kids and move to New York if you really want to fight crime. My brother can’t even get a job. He’s got a record since you guys haven’t gotten around to saying that “stay” means oops, that weed was really oregano. My brother’s on welfare. Check your files dude. Ronnie Black.

I also think you should let me talk to her cuz I hear she’s not saying anything and maybe I could get her to tell the truth. I’d wear a wire and cooperate with you narcs if I could help her out. I saw it on Starsky and Hutch once. I’d be good at it. Man, I’d be AWESOME!!

I’ve been up here with all these lumberjacks and all I do is think about her and I’ve got a lot of good memories. Not that I’d ever tell you. But I could tell you that everyone else who is talking to you, like that Tiffany bitch, they’re full of shit. All the girls who are saying she’s crazy are just jealous cuz as soon as I started going out with Sara, all the twinkie girls stopped talking to her. Take a guess why. Now, everyone’s saying Sara was always crazy. It’s just bullshit. She was even a virgin and she didn’t even smoke weed. I bet Mackie Hollander and his coach and Shaved Cock Mr. Locke are both kissing your ass because those two are major assholes. Mackie has his whole nice guy act but he’s shoved so many kids’ heads in toilets his nickname is the Plunger. Ask him about that, and while you’re at it, check his blood for steroids. Anyway, I don’t want to narc on anyone. My mom doesn’t want me to testify because she thinks you’ll twist my words up and ask me if I got high. Well, yeah, I got high. So what? I still know my girlfriend. Her dad’s a bit of a nut job. Last week of school, he kept calling my house looking for her and I should have known something was going on but I was cramming for exams and trying to pack and get my camping gear and everything and I just thought he was confused or she was out partying so I just told him she’d call him later. She really loves her dad though and that’s another thing. If she was some PSYCHO, I don’t think she’d be making sure to go home with her dad for dinner every night and being really patient with him even when he got on her nerves. There’s this one guy up here who’s really smart and he reads a lot of books about Russia and stuff and he says that you’re basically under a lot of pressure and you can’t find this punk rock psycho so you’re pinning it on Sara because she’s a dopelganger.