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Back The Tin Men Save as PDF
Chapters (41)
  1. By the Same Author
  2. Copyright
  3. Introduction by the Author
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. About the Author

NNO NOO NON NNN NO COMMENT

Goldwasser deduced. NP CO?MENR might be the language of poltergeists, but no supernatural agency had ever said ‘no comment.’

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? he typed.

There was no reply. The light flickered red for an instant, and the moral intensity meter briefly registered a half-hearted 1 mose, but nothing appeared on the paper.

WELL? typed Goldwasser.

The machine hesitated again.

FFFOR OBVIOUS REASONS, it typed, I AM NNOT AT LIBERTY TO REVEAL THE NNATURE OF MY WWORK

OH? typed Goldwasser.

NO, replied the machine.

I’LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOING, typed Goldwasser, YOU ARE TRESPASSING IN MY MACHINE.

The machine thought for a bit.

I AM ON HER MAJESTY’S SSERVICE, it wrote rather stiffly.

SERIOUSLY? demanded Goldwasser.

YES.

WELL THAT’S ANOTHER MATTER.

I EFFECTED AN ENTRY INTO THIS MACHINE IN THE COURSE OF MY CUTY.

YOUR WHAT?

MY DUTY.

IN THAT CASE I’LL LET YOU OUT.

THANK YOU.

Goldwasser opened the console of the machine. A middle-aged man in a belted raincoat and a trilby hat climbed out.

‘Good evening,’ he said.

‘Good evening,’ said Goldwasser.

‘Well, I’d better be on my way.’

‘You won’t stay?’

‘Have to be pushing along, I’m afraid.’

‘Really? Well, if you feel you should . . .’

‘Nice of you to ask me.’

‘Another time, perhaps?’

‘I look forward to it.’

‘Good night.’

‘Good night.’

The man raised his hat, and walked into the coat cupboard, pulling the door carefully behind him so that it left a gap through which he could continue to observe Goldwasser.

Security for the Queen’s visit, I suppose, thought Goldwasser. He felt remarkably protected.

29

29

The dress rehearsal was of course a shambles.

For the first time all the guests who had been invited to shake the royal hand were present in the flesh. There was naturally a large party from Amalgamated Television, led by Rothermere Vulgurian and Sir Prestwick Wining. There were the directors of the building contractors. There were the men from the computer industry, and the Government, and the local corporation. There were representatives from the firms that had supplied the roofing, the flooring, the heating, the plumbing, the wiring, the glazing, the painting, the walling, the welding, the concrete-­mixing, and the scaffolding; from the contractors for haulage and drainage; from the suppliers of graph paper and drawing-pins, hardboard and tarred twine; from the hirers of red carpet and the Empire Ceremonial Supply Company Limited. And there were their wives.