Goldwasser shut his eyes to draw the next card. It turned out to read in these days when. He pondered whether to select it is fashionable to scoff at the traditional morality of marriage and family life or it is no longer fashionable to scoff at the traditional morality of marriage and family life. The latter had more of the form’s authentic baroque splendour, he decided. He drew another it is fitting that, but thinking three times round was once too many for anything, even for a superb and beautiful word like ‘fitting,’ he cheated and changed it for it is meet that, after which we wish them well followed as the night the day, and the entertainment was over.

What a piece of work had the school of Goldwasser wrought here! What a toccata and fugue! How remote it was from the harsh cares of life!

Goldwasser started all over again with the churching of women. He had got as far as a choice between it is good to see the old traditions being kept up and it is good to see old usages brought more into line with our modern way of thinking, when Nobbs came shambling out of his room, the word ‘mate’ written all over his face.

‘Now look here, mate,’ started Nobbs, ‘this Paralysed Girl Deter­mined to Dance Again . . .’

But at this point, as it said on one of the cards in the ‘They Are Calling It the Street of Shame’ story cabinet, our investigator made an excuse and left.

8

‘But you said yourself,’ wheezed Dr. Jennifer Riddle, the Head of the Political Department, with furious indignation, ‘the Queen’s visit was going to be an informal occasion with a minimum of fuss!’

Mrs. Plushkov, the Head of the International Affairs Department, watched her colleague with a slight smile of profound human sympathy. She was considering how One should deal with the situation in a way that combined both charity and practical effect. Certainly One should remain calm and graceful. One should try to feel sympathy for Riddle and her personality defects. Riddle was, after all, the greatest cross One had to bear, and One believed One could feel Oneself growing a little in grace even as One sympathised. In believing that, of course, One was making fun of Oneself: One’s spiritual development could certainly be leavened with a little humour from time to time.

‘What One said,’ she reminded Riddle kindly, ‘was that we should aim at an informal occasion from which we all emerged with dignity.’

One bulked large in Mrs. Plushkov’s life. She thought of little but One’s obligations, One’s position, One’s self-respect. Ceaselessly and selflessly she considered what One should do, what One would like, how One would react. She wanted nothing for herself – had renounced all carnal desire in life but to do what One wanted and to make sure that everyone else did what One wanted as well.

Since One was a woman, One had an obligation to be unswervingly feminine. One had to be gracious. One had to speak with suitable sweetness. When something amusing was said, One had a polite duty to smile a modest, gracious smile, and when the joke was over One had to fold One’s smile up and put it tidily away so that One could find it readily for use on another occasion. It was scarcely surprising that not only Mrs. Plushkov but everybody else in the Institute was in awe of One. It was even less surprising that One had been entrusted with the arrangements for the Queen’s visit. If One had a local monopoly of savoir-faire, as One apparently did, then One had a certain duty on these occa­sions.