In the end, it’s me who breaks it.

‘When did you find out about this?’ I ask her, realizing the answer halfway through the question. I remember it clearly, now: in the middle of my nightmare, she had apologized; I had never stopped to consider what for. ‘My stuff.’

Peyton grips on to her scalp with both hands.

‘My stuff. You destroyed everything.’

She sighs. ‘I only wanted to freak you out enough to get you to stop but you’re a maniac who’s not scared of anything and I didn’t know what to do. I knew you wouldn’t listen and Ellis wasn’t listening, either. I’ll pay you back for whatever I broke – I didn’t even know what half of it was, but I couldn’t stand the thought of Ellis’s life on display, everyone judging him and talking about him …’

Then we’re quiet. Peyton seems to soften.

‘Ellis told me about your sister,’ she says. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? I understand now, I guess. I don’t think you don’t care about Ellis, but your reasons are selfish, and misguided, and –’

‘What Ellis told you about my sister was wrong.’

She stares. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I lied to him about her.’

Peyton scoffs, point proven. ‘So she didn’t go missing?’

‘Oh, she went missing,’ I said. ‘But the day she disappeared was the best day of my life.’ It’s melodramatic but I say it for the reaction. ‘She didn’t do any of the stuff I said she did. She lied and hurt me and treated me like shit.’

Peyton is backing away from me.

‘Did Ellis tell you what happened? She got lost in the woods. And you know what? I hope she was out there for weeks. Because maybe that way she would have got what she deserved, and maybe she would have thought about what she’d done and regretted it. And after all that I couldn’t even be the good daughter.’ I wave my phone at Peyton. ‘This will make me the good daughter. I’ll have done something worthwhile. More than she ever did. I’ll have done something good.’

I’d discovered what had happened to Roxy.

‘You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re stressed.’ Peyton gently reaches for my arms and I rip her off me.

‘I’m still writing this,’ I say.

‘You can’t. These people aren’t bad, they’re –’

‘I don’t care.’

‘This one thing Ellis has asked of you, has asked of anyone –’

‘It’s not his story to keep.’

‘What do you mean? Of course it is. It’s his family.’

I feel possessed by a force outside myself. ‘People deserve to know what happened.’