And then I realize – it’s my laptop that Peyton has.

‘Ellis,’ she says, then looks at me. ‘Ellis, you have a right to know something. Has Mona told you?’

And I suddenly realize how foolish it was of me not to think it odd that Ellis was here in the first place.

‘Tell him, Mona,’ Peyton says.

Blood drains from my face.

‘Ellis, do you know about the podcast?’ Peyton asks.

Ellis looks bewildered.

‘Peyton,’ I say. ‘Come on. I was going to –’

But she’s already got it up on the laptop.

And there it is. My voice.

‘The year is 1986 and the sleepy island of Sandown Bay is waking up.’

‘How did you find this? How did you know?’ I say, and I can’t think of anything else to do but slam the laptop shut, and she recoils. I can’t even deny it. It’s too obvious. There is no point.

Ellis hasn’t moved beside me.

‘How could you do this? You don’t care about Ellis at all, do you? You just want to exploit him for your fucking … I don’t even know what this is – your show? He doesn’t know about any of this, does he? Of course he doesn’t. Because he’d never be helping you if he did. God, I knew there was something up about you. Is anything true? Is there anything that wasn’t a lie?’

‘Can I explain?’ I look at Ellis, eyes imploring. ‘Ellis, please. You need to let me explain.’

‘You … when did you record this? Months ago? Before we even met?’

‘Ellis –’

‘You were never gonna do what I asked. I asked you not to but y-y-you were always gonna tell everyone. Were you just … you – you were using me, t-t-t-to – sh-sh-sh-shit!’

‘Please –’

‘What you just said,’ he spits. ‘About Booker. Roxy being dead. Is any of it even true? Why didn’t you want me t-to go with you? I d-didn’t see the grave, I only saw the pictures. I haven’t b-been there for anything important – have you b-been making all this up for your story? The grave? The Morse code?’

‘I wanted you there, for all of it –’

‘Did you make it up?’

‘No!’

‘Liar.’

I want to hit him.

‘Ellis, look at me. Look at my hands. My face.’ I don’t remember the last time I checked a mirror; I must look as spent as I feel. I pull down the skin of my cheeks. ‘Look at me.’

‘I d-don’t believe you. I-in the woods? It’s all in the woods? Why can’t I see it then, huh? Just wait. I’ll figure this out for real. Liar.’

Ellis storms out of the room. The slam of the door is so loud it hurts.

The silence left between Peyton and me, I realize when it settles, will stay with me for the rest of my life.