CHAPTER 35

My head swims in the dark.

Then, sunshine. Warm and buttery on my face.

The sensations start there. Pleasant heat. Then, air in my lungs. It’s incredible. I take one breath to ground myself, then another for fun and then another to clear the black vignette that seems to seep even into my skull and not just the corners of my eyes.

The euphoria of breathing is short-lived; the pain, I remember. There’s a knot of barbs tangled at the base of my throat and my mouth is sharp with blood. A crater on the inside of my cheek I can’t stop running my tongue over. I try and clutch my right arm, not sure what I’m expecting to find in its place, but where I hope to touch flesh there’s something solid; wood, held in place with fabric. Someone’s tied a splint round my arm.

I can’t get my bearings; my eyes are spinning in and out of focus. But I’m inside, I think. I think because I’m in a bed, in a room, but above me is sky – bright, pale blue. A hole has been smashed into the ceiling. It’s a cabin, maybe; small, just one room, a tiny kitchen covered in dark wood, a cot bed that I’m sitting in. One of the walls is loaded with radio equipment that looks like what I found in Mary Anne’s office. The place smells like earth and rain and something metallic. I want to sit up and look around but just the thought of it makes my abdomen throb.

And then I remember – Celeste. Celeste. It was me. I knew it, I knew it all along, but I didn’t –

A ray of sunlight forces its way through the hole in the ceiling and shines into my eyes; I manage to shield my face with my good arm. I sense movement nearby.

I crane my neck and will my eyes to focus. They land, finally, on the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen.

Ellis. Ellis, as alive as the day I scared him out of his skin in the bike shed. Ellis, alive.

He’s here, crouching down gently to meet me. ‘Hey,’ he says.

I try to speak but my throat just gurgles; when the sound finally does come out it’s weak and broken. ‘Ellis. You’re OK.’