I panic, my ears dead as the connection between us breaks.

‘Put it back,’ I say. ‘Can you put it back? Please?’ I don’t need to listen to my heart to know it’s racing. Thuds stream back into my ears as he nudges it under Kayleigh’s blanket, warming me from the inside out. Clear as a bell, I think he says, nodding and smiling to himself. Or to me? His eyebrows poke out again as he beckons for his tube back.

‘I doubt it’s a chest infection,’ he says, my ears popping as I pull out the buds. ‘We’ll have a check inside her ears when she wakes up, as that can be a bit more uncomfortable.’ He reaches out for his medal, wrapping the rest of the tube around his neck, out of my reach.

‘I’ll be back soon. It won’t do you any harm to rest again too.’ He nods at the nurse before disappearing behind the curtain.

‘Here,’ she says as she waves a tissue under my nose.

I sit, brushing away her arm as I stuff my hands under my legs, memories of the clinic this morning clattering back into my head like dominoes. What is she doing here? And how did she find me? There’s a scrunch and squeak as she fidgets in her chair.

‘It’s terrifying, isn’t it?’ she says. ‘When they are so small. All that flopping and shaking … awful, really. It must have given you such a fright. But children are far more robust than you think. I expect the rest of your family will be here soon too?’

I dig my nails into the plastic chair. The minutes tick along with 124the beeping machines as she fiddles with some papers in her lap, just sitting there next to me like it’s exactly where anyone, including me, would expect her to be.

‘It’s about time for your second pill,’ she murmurs, pen paused above her papers. ‘Have you got it with you? Or would you like me to get you some more?’

I glare at the floor as I pull my pills from my pocket, popping out the final one.

‘Would you like some more water?’

I swallow without looking at her, chucking the empty packet under Kayleigh’s cot, eyes starting to water as the pill lodges in my throat. Finally she gets up, stuffing her papers into the bag at her feet.

‘I’ll be back to check on you two again soon,’ she says. ‘Try and get some more rest. I’m sure this has been an ordeal for you.’

‘Like I even know what that means…’ I mumble, counting the perfect tiny squares of wool on Kayleigh’s blanket until the curtain squeaks again.