I stare, distracted, as he unpacks the rest of the bag. There used to be eggs when Kayleigh’s dad was still around. And other stuff, like crisps and KitKats. I knew he’d snuck over whenever Ma told me to have an egg for breakfast. As if he hadn’t bought them with her money! Jase doesn’t answer, snapping the door closed as he crunches the bag into his other hand.50

‘Everything alright lately?’

‘Alright? Like how? I’ve been at school if that’s what you mean…’

‘Does Kayleigh need anything new? Or you?’ I flush as I spot a box of Tampax on the counter by the fridge. Oh God. I wish Ma could at least do the washing herself.

‘I could do with some money … Cash, I mean…’ I say, staring at the floor. ‘Only so I could get stuff for myself instead of waiting for you…’

‘Have you got a winter coat as well as that?’ He nods at my fraying school blazer. ‘Or gloves? What’s Kayleigh got?’

‘You know we don’t,’ I say, rubbing the worn patches on my elbows. ‘But it’s not like Ma’s going to take Kayleigh out anywhere.’

‘Has she still got that rash?’ I blink at him.

‘Who? Kayleigh?’

‘No, Ma,’ he says, rolling his eyes.

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘She needs to see the doctor. Every morning I tell Ma to take her but—’

‘I’ll sort it out,’ he says, cutting me off again.

‘Where’s Rach got to, then?’

His boots squeak as he turns away to the sink, flooding water over the pile of dirty dishes.

‘And how come you’re here so late? Jase?’

He ignores me, squirting soap into the basin. Actual soap, strawberry-red like slushy syrup. Forgetting myself, I walk the two steps into the kitchen and open the fridge door, emptying a whole packet of sliced ham into my mouth almost as soon as I’ve picked it up; thick, salty and delicious. This ham’s the real thing, not our usual sweaty pink stuff. Gulping and chewing, I could be anywhere else in the world until the squeak of a tap closing reminds me we’re still in our tiny, filthy kitchen, still neck deep in our tiny, filthy town.

‘Are you ready?’51

I jump, trying to swallow as I turn to look at him. Our eyes meet for just a moment. I can’t be sure but think he might have been smiling.

‘To go out, you mean? Pretty much,’ I say, coughing. ‘Can I have a drink?’

He passes me a cup from the sink.

‘I’ll take you in,’ he says, wiping his hands on his trousers. ‘Matty’ll be pleased to see you.’

‘Oh … right,’ I say, running a hand over my hair, still mussed up from lying next to Kayleigh. ‘That’d be good. I was waiting for Rach. Tommo said you’d all be off-duty tonight…’