‘I don’t blame you for dwelling on the past,’ she says, reaching for my arm again. ‘Or for doing what you need to do to keep it at bay. There’s no one who could possibly understand what you’ve been through, how far away the other side really is. But all you can do is inch forward as best you can, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. The world’s just going to keep turning. You can’t stop it just because it’s making you feel dizzy. Katie’s in the best hands she could be.’

‘Katie?’ I stand, my chair crashing into the gaggle next to us.

‘It’s stuck,’ she says, bending to pick up the envelope, which has slithered off my lap on to the floor. ‘She practically came up with it herself, as I understand it, over time, as she learned to speak 181properly. And it made sense for her to have a fresh start too. After all, you’re well and truly Marie now, aren’t you?’

‘Who knows,’ I mumble, glaring at the string-vest girl pushing my chair upright towards me, disgust wafting off her like her perfume, sharp and tangy in the thick heat.

‘Other people can only do so much,’ Julie says, holding out the envelope as she stands. ‘In the end, it comes down to you. There’s nothing more unfair in the world, I know. But it has to come from you … if it’s ever going to really work. No one else can live your life for you, and this is your lot now. It’s down to you to make something of it.’ She slings her bag on to her shoulder.

‘What, you’re leaving already?’ I say, pulling the envelope to my chest. ‘That’s a shorter lecture than usual, isn’t it? We haven’t even covered skipping counselling yet … or how my BTC’s going, or TBC or CBT or whatever it’s called.’

‘I’ve been as long as I can,’ she says, gripping at the straps on her shoulder as she checks behind her. ‘I can’t afford to be missed, you know that. Technically, we haven’t been in touch since the trial finished, have we? I’d never forgive myself if anyone recognised us and put two and two together. But I promise I won’t lose touch. You can count on me to keep you informed, on Katie at least. I won’t ever let you down on that.’

She leans forward, squeezing my arm again for a minute, before disappearing into another belch of steam as she walks out of the shop.